I'm failing at this whole life balance thing.
You know. The balance we create where we get all of the housework done, we spend quality time with our spouse, we have nights out with our friends, every dinner is homemade and delicious, and we spend our days and nights raising happy children, all the while giving each child individual time so they feel equally important.
That balance.
The Super Mom skillz.
Oh, and don't forget to smile through it all and show the world that you love every second of your life.
There's quite a bit of pressure to being a stay-at-home Mom. I feel like most other SAHM's fall into the Stepford Wife-type... always trying to portray perfection. And here I am. Up to my ears in a tight budget, maxxed out clothing, sleepless nights, kiddie activities, trying to make the most of my time, and the struggle to manage a healthy household.
I'm stressed.
I'm exhausted.
Even though things are really stressful right now, I don't regret leaving my job. Not for a minute. Even on my worst days, I'm so glad I walked away from Corporate America and have the opportunity to be home raising my children.
I would be lying if I said that there aren't days when I miss the hustle bustle lifestyle of a 'working' woman. Sometimes I really miss dressing professionally, adult conversations, and the overall feeling that I'm making a contribution to society. And, admittedly, I sometimes miss dropping my kids off at the daycare for the day, allowing me to only think about myself for a time.
I also have to acknowledge that I realize I am blessed in so many ways.
I have a bit of guilt posting this blog because I'm going on about how taxing life has been for me lately... but damnit, this is my blog and I'm here to vent when I want to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that whatever system I've developed isn't working out so well. I'm up at 6:30 a.m. and I'm getting to sleep around 11 p.m. and I still have an unfinished to-do list a mile long at the end of every day.
I'm less than 5 weeks from my due date and my motivation and energy is diminishing quickly. I've got to come up with a game plan and fast.
One thing I've done differently with this pregnancy is ask and accept help from others. I consider myself a very independent person. Often times too much. I've loosened my grip a little and allowed myself to be more receptive to the generosity of my family and friends. I should have done that a long time ago. I have an AMAZING support system and I'm planning to utilize them more in the future. I'm not ignorant to the fact that there are a lot of women out there doing it all every day on their own.
With the arrival of Baby #3, I'm a bit panicked as to how I'm going cover the basics of housekeeping, mothering, budgeting, planning, creating, and maintaining my marriage without something failing.
I once read that worry robs tomorrow of it's strength.
I guess I just have to have faith and hope that everything will work out.
I have to let go of what isn't being done and try to put a positive spin on what lies ahead. Yes, I will have more responsibility but I have to believe that there will also be more opportunity.
On a brighter note, there has been plenty of nesting going on in the Steinbauer household. The baby stuff is out and I'm getting excited to meet our little one! As much anxiety as I've had with the unexpected pregnancy and the fretting over how I'm going to manage 3 children... I am so happy that we will be adding another little one to our family. He or She will be loved just as much and equally spoiled as their two predecessors. The boy name and girl name have been selected and now we wait for Baby to make his/her move.
Stay tuned...
Friday, November 16, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Counting my blessings
It's been over 2 weeks since I've been able to spend the entire night in my bed.
Little Sister decided to escape from her crib a couple of Sunday's ago and so we've had to move her to a toddler bed. This happened to take place while I was in the process of weaning her from her bedtime bottle. What timing.
It's been rough to say the least.
The good news is that I'm happy to report that the bottle is gone!! I made sure to throw all of the bottles away so I wouldn't be tempted to use one in a moment of desperation and weakness. I'm very glad I did because there was a couple of times I would have done just that.
Let me say that Turner was WAY easier to wean from the bottle and transition to a toddler bed. First of all, he never climbed out of his crib. Didn't even try. We moved him to a toddler bed for his 2nd birthday. We bought him a few cool sheet sets and made it a fun 'Big Boy' event. The bottle was a bit more difficult for him to quit, but he didn't hold a candle to how hard it was for Lauren.
Something new I've learned about my daughter over the past couple of weeks? That girl is not a quitter! She is very hard-headed, determined, and stubborn. There have been nights where she would leave her bed at every opportunity for hours at a time. I felt like a zombie. Nap time hasn't gone any easier. A person would think she would be exhausted from not sleeping, but she proves to have enough fight left in her to not take naps some days.
I'm pooped!!
But it's getting better. I'm finally beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Her bedtime was taking 90 minutes from books to sleep. We're down to 30 minutes. Definitely do-able! I've started putting her to bed an hour later so she's a bit more tired. She typically wakes at 4:30 a.m., calls for me, and I sit beside her bed until she falls back asleep. Not too shabby.
Here's the thing though... at bedtime, I'm holding her in my arms until she falls asleep instead of putting her to bed and leaving the room. I know this will probably end up biting me in the ass later, but for now it's the only way I'm able to get my evening tasks completed and allow Turner to go to bed at a decent time. All of her dramatics and continuously getting up and crying out were keeping big brother up too. Poor kid wasn't getting much sleep either. Hubs could sleep next to a busy train track and never wake, so the nighttime shenanigans haven't been much of an issue for him. (Sidenote: One of these nights, I'm going to remove his underwear while he sleeps and replace them with a pair of mine. I know he'll sleep through it, and what a glorious surprise when he wakes up!)
I guess I'm going to look at it this way; I'm back to getting a straight 6 hours of rest, the kiddo's are getting a straight 6 hours of rest, and that's progress from 16 days ago.
Besides, I'm certain that there are many Mother's out there whose babies have grown up and would love the opportunity to go back in time and hold their little ones again. Soon enough, Lauren will not need me to put her to sleep and I'll probably long for a night like tonight when I snuggled her in my arms and watched her drift off to sleep.
Sweet dreams everyone!
Little Sister decided to escape from her crib a couple of Sunday's ago and so we've had to move her to a toddler bed. This happened to take place while I was in the process of weaning her from her bedtime bottle. What timing.
It's been rough to say the least.
The good news is that I'm happy to report that the bottle is gone!! I made sure to throw all of the bottles away so I wouldn't be tempted to use one in a moment of desperation and weakness. I'm very glad I did because there was a couple of times I would have done just that.
Let me say that Turner was WAY easier to wean from the bottle and transition to a toddler bed. First of all, he never climbed out of his crib. Didn't even try. We moved him to a toddler bed for his 2nd birthday. We bought him a few cool sheet sets and made it a fun 'Big Boy' event. The bottle was a bit more difficult for him to quit, but he didn't hold a candle to how hard it was for Lauren.
Something new I've learned about my daughter over the past couple of weeks? That girl is not a quitter! She is very hard-headed, determined, and stubborn. There have been nights where she would leave her bed at every opportunity for hours at a time. I felt like a zombie. Nap time hasn't gone any easier. A person would think she would be exhausted from not sleeping, but she proves to have enough fight left in her to not take naps some days.
I'm pooped!!
But it's getting better. I'm finally beginning to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Her bedtime was taking 90 minutes from books to sleep. We're down to 30 minutes. Definitely do-able! I've started putting her to bed an hour later so she's a bit more tired. She typically wakes at 4:30 a.m., calls for me, and I sit beside her bed until she falls back asleep. Not too shabby.
Here's the thing though... at bedtime, I'm holding her in my arms until she falls asleep instead of putting her to bed and leaving the room. I know this will probably end up biting me in the ass later, but for now it's the only way I'm able to get my evening tasks completed and allow Turner to go to bed at a decent time. All of her dramatics and continuously getting up and crying out were keeping big brother up too. Poor kid wasn't getting much sleep either. Hubs could sleep next to a busy train track and never wake, so the nighttime shenanigans haven't been much of an issue for him. (Sidenote: One of these nights, I'm going to remove his underwear while he sleeps and replace them with a pair of mine. I know he'll sleep through it, and what a glorious surprise when he wakes up!)
I guess I'm going to look at it this way; I'm back to getting a straight 6 hours of rest, the kiddo's are getting a straight 6 hours of rest, and that's progress from 16 days ago.
Besides, I'm certain that there are many Mother's out there whose babies have grown up and would love the opportunity to go back in time and hold their little ones again. Soon enough, Lauren will not need me to put her to sleep and I'll probably long for a night like tonight when I snuggled her in my arms and watched her drift off to sleep.
Sweet dreams everyone!
Friday, October 19, 2012
Friday Night Food
I found this recipe on Pinterest and gave it a try tonight.
Delish!
What I loved the most about this recipe:
1. It only took 30 minutes to prepare from start to finish.
2. It cost $15 for all of the ingredients.
3. It easily fed my family of four, so it's perfect for the nights you add a couple extra people to your table.
This recipe will definitely be part of my monthly meal rotation. So Good!!
Without further ado:
MEATBALL BUBBLE BISCUITS
1 can Pillsbury golden layers biscuits - each pulled into 2 layers
10 frozen fully cooked italian style meatballs - thawed and cut in half
2 sticks string cheese - cut each into 10 pieces
1 T. parm cheese
1/2 t. Italian seasoning
1/4 t. garlic powder
1 c. marinara sauce
Heat oven to 375. Separate biscuits into 2 layers. Place 1 meatball half and one piece of cheese into each biscuit, wrap dough around it and seal edges. Place seam side down into 9 inch round cake pan. Sprinkle with parm cheese, garlic pwd. and italian seasoning. Bake 18-20 min or until golden brown. Serve warm with warm sauce.
*I served them with a small salad and a side of spaghetti.
Easy peasy.
Enjoy!!
Delish!
What I loved the most about this recipe:
1. It only took 30 minutes to prepare from start to finish.
2. It cost $15 for all of the ingredients.
3. It easily fed my family of four, so it's perfect for the nights you add a couple extra people to your table.
This recipe will definitely be part of my monthly meal rotation. So Good!!
Without further ado:
MEATBALL BUBBLE BISCUITS
1 can Pillsbury golden layers biscuits - each pulled into 2 layers
10 frozen fully cooked italian style meatballs - thawed and cut in half
2 sticks string cheese - cut each into 10 pieces
1 T. parm cheese
1/2 t. Italian seasoning
1/4 t. garlic powder
1 c. marinara sauce
Heat oven to 375. Separate biscuits into 2 layers. Place 1 meatball half and one piece of cheese into each biscuit, wrap dough around it and seal edges. Place seam side down into 9 inch round cake pan. Sprinkle with parm cheese, garlic pwd. and italian seasoning. Bake 18-20 min or until golden brown. Serve warm with warm sauce.
*I served them with a small salad and a side of spaghetti.
Easy peasy.
Enjoy!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Yeah, it got worse.
I mentioned during my last post that Turner had been feeling ill. After 24 hours of him throwing up, he seemed to be doing better. Just in time for Miss Lauren to start upchucking all over the place.
And when I thought I was beginning to see the light, I was mistaken.
Turner was ill for four days. My skinny kid has lost even more weight. The fluid he has lost vs. the amount of food he's consumed in no way balances each other out. He's eaten maybe a handful worth of food in that time. It amazes me how he's even found the energy to function.
Lauren was ill for about 48 hours and seemed to have it a bit easier. Still, watching a little one get sick like that is heartbreaking. Especially, when she can't communicate well enough to tell me she doesn't feel good. The only signs she could give was to walk around with a blanket putting her head down every now and again.
Still, two kids simultaneously puking and pooping uncontrollably is not an easy task to take on. I busted my ass this week. Between nurturing, sanitizing, and keeping up with the laundry, I had my hands full.
AND WE SURVIVED!
Kinda.
Guess who got it next?
Yep.
That would be me.
Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night spewing puke before I could even register that I was getting sick.
Thankfully, the kiddos were back to normal today and Hubs could take the day off to care for them while I recovered. He was amazing and took great care of them. It definitely allowed me to rest easier.
Not that I doubt my Hubs ability to care for our kids. One of the many things that has changed in our household since I've been a stay-at-home Mom is that the kiddos now prefer me to do most things for them. Tanner tries to step in and help quite often, but sometimes they reject him. Nothing personal, the kids are creatures of habit and when Dad does things differently, it doesn't go over well. It can be frustrating for all of us and most days I feel like I have to be the peacemaker. But today, the kids and Hubs meshed well and they seemed to have a wonderful day together.
Awesome.
I'm feeling much better, btw.
Back to the grind tomorrow. Turner goes back to school so I'll only have Lauren for most of the day which will ease me back into my routine.
It's crazy how a little virus can turn a household upside down.
Oh, the things we take for granted.
Sleep.
Health.
They're biggies.
I know after the week we've had, I'm more thankful for the simple things.
I hope you and your families stay healthy and happy as we are beginning to spend more time indoors!
Love you all.
And when I thought I was beginning to see the light, I was mistaken.
Turner was ill for four days. My skinny kid has lost even more weight. The fluid he has lost vs. the amount of food he's consumed in no way balances each other out. He's eaten maybe a handful worth of food in that time. It amazes me how he's even found the energy to function.
Lauren was ill for about 48 hours and seemed to have it a bit easier. Still, watching a little one get sick like that is heartbreaking. Especially, when she can't communicate well enough to tell me she doesn't feel good. The only signs she could give was to walk around with a blanket putting her head down every now and again.
Still, two kids simultaneously puking and pooping uncontrollably is not an easy task to take on. I busted my ass this week. Between nurturing, sanitizing, and keeping up with the laundry, I had my hands full.
AND WE SURVIVED!
Kinda.
Guess who got it next?
Yep.
That would be me.
Nothing like waking up in the middle of the night spewing puke before I could even register that I was getting sick.
Thankfully, the kiddos were back to normal today and Hubs could take the day off to care for them while I recovered. He was amazing and took great care of them. It definitely allowed me to rest easier.
Not that I doubt my Hubs ability to care for our kids. One of the many things that has changed in our household since I've been a stay-at-home Mom is that the kiddos now prefer me to do most things for them. Tanner tries to step in and help quite often, but sometimes they reject him. Nothing personal, the kids are creatures of habit and when Dad does things differently, it doesn't go over well. It can be frustrating for all of us and most days I feel like I have to be the peacemaker. But today, the kids and Hubs meshed well and they seemed to have a wonderful day together.
Awesome.
I'm feeling much better, btw.
Back to the grind tomorrow. Turner goes back to school so I'll only have Lauren for most of the day which will ease me back into my routine.
It's crazy how a little virus can turn a household upside down.
Oh, the things we take for granted.
Sleep.
Health.
They're biggies.
I know after the week we've had, I'm more thankful for the simple things.
I hope you and your families stay healthy and happy as we are beginning to spend more time indoors!
Love you all.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
There's always tomorrow
Yesterday we had a challenging day to say the least.
Hubs place of employment was having an open house. Without directly saying it, I could tell it was important for us to go because a.) hubs was presenting and b.) hubs really really wanted me and the kiddos to experience his workplace up close and personal since we have never had the opportunity in the past to do so.
So, I loaded up the kidders and off we went.
The kids never napped. Fail #1
The kids weren't interested in anything despite the bounce houses, activities, and kid stations they had set up along the tour. Fail #2
Lauren was pissed after spending 2 1/2 hours in her stroller and Turner was pissed because he got tired of walking. Fail #3
All the kids wanted to do was see Hubs and he couldn't leave until his presentation time was finished. I had the fun task of trying to keep them happy and occupied even though all I wanted to do was figure out a way to go pee and rest my aching roly-poly body. Fail #4
By the time Hubs was able to meet with us, the kids were on the verge of meltdowns and I was frustrated, irritated, and exhausted.
This made for a tense reunion which escalated into Hubs getting angry. He told me I was being bitchy and mean and that I don't appreciate him. (sigh)
Thank goodness we drove in separate vehicles. When the kids and I returned home, I needed a time-out before I really lost my shit.
Where do I take my time-out? The only place I have any solitude. The bathroom. I turn on the water in the sink, sit on the toilet, and I cry.
It took about 20 minutes for me to go through the emotional phases of angry, sad, pity-partyish, etc. Then I collect myself and feel ready to move forward.
Hubs apologized.
I apologized.
And we hugged.
Hugs are the best healers. No words necessary. Just a nice strong embrace to let each other know that everything is going to be okay.
It's very difficult for me not to cry when I get hugged.
I have no idea why this is. I've always been that way. Hugs choke me up every time.
Anyway.
We ended up having a nice evening... until 1 a.m. when Turner woke up throwing up in his bed. Poor little guy puked all night long. I was up with him every hour, just cleaning up and tending to his needs the best way a Mom knows how. I spent the night changing pajamas, stripping bedding, dumping puke, and scrubbing a mattress.
What a freaking day.
I'm hoping tonight will be better and I'll finally be able to get the rest I need in order to take on another busy day with my preschooler and toddler tomorrow.
Goodnight everyone!
p.s. I've added to my bucket list! Someday, I will make a 'FREE HUGS' sign and spend an hour giving away free hugs. You should join me!
Hubs place of employment was having an open house. Without directly saying it, I could tell it was important for us to go because a.) hubs was presenting and b.) hubs really really wanted me and the kiddos to experience his workplace up close and personal since we have never had the opportunity in the past to do so.
So, I loaded up the kidders and off we went.
The kids never napped. Fail #1
The kids weren't interested in anything despite the bounce houses, activities, and kid stations they had set up along the tour. Fail #2
Lauren was pissed after spending 2 1/2 hours in her stroller and Turner was pissed because he got tired of walking. Fail #3
All the kids wanted to do was see Hubs and he couldn't leave until his presentation time was finished. I had the fun task of trying to keep them happy and occupied even though all I wanted to do was figure out a way to go pee and rest my aching roly-poly body. Fail #4
By the time Hubs was able to meet with us, the kids were on the verge of meltdowns and I was frustrated, irritated, and exhausted.
This made for a tense reunion which escalated into Hubs getting angry. He told me I was being bitchy and mean and that I don't appreciate him. (sigh)
Thank goodness we drove in separate vehicles. When the kids and I returned home, I needed a time-out before I really lost my shit.
Where do I take my time-out? The only place I have any solitude. The bathroom. I turn on the water in the sink, sit on the toilet, and I cry.
It took about 20 minutes for me to go through the emotional phases of angry, sad, pity-partyish, etc. Then I collect myself and feel ready to move forward.
Hubs apologized.
I apologized.
And we hugged.
Hugs are the best healers. No words necessary. Just a nice strong embrace to let each other know that everything is going to be okay.
It's very difficult for me not to cry when I get hugged.
I have no idea why this is. I've always been that way. Hugs choke me up every time.
Anyway.
We ended up having a nice evening... until 1 a.m. when Turner woke up throwing up in his bed. Poor little guy puked all night long. I was up with him every hour, just cleaning up and tending to his needs the best way a Mom knows how. I spent the night changing pajamas, stripping bedding, dumping puke, and scrubbing a mattress.
What a freaking day.
I'm hoping tonight will be better and I'll finally be able to get the rest I need in order to take on another busy day with my preschooler and toddler tomorrow.
Goodnight everyone!
p.s. I've added to my bucket list! Someday, I will make a 'FREE HUGS' sign and spend an hour giving away free hugs. You should join me!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Long story short...
What a roller coaster the summer has been!
June 2012: After Hubs and I decided to schedule his vasectomy and a trip to the ER for ovarian cysts, we found out I'm pregnant! Number 3.
Holy shit.
I shed a few tears and Tanner wrapped his arms around me and and gave me much needed words of comfort. I wasn't sad, I was just overwhelmed at the time. This is the first unplanned pregnancy I've ever had and it freaked me out. Those of you that know me on a personal level know that I don't leave much room for spontaneity in my life. It's a blessing and a curse. I take comfort in knowing what most of my days are going to be like. I always have a plan. The news of a pregnancy blind-sided me. Tanner was so cool about it. He helped me calm down and appreciate the fact that we are going to add another adorable Steinbauer to our little family.
One of the things about the SAHM gig is that I don't find many opportunities to relieve stress. I find myself wound a little tight some days. I need to work on that.
July 2012: My first trimester was not easy. I was very ill and exhausted most days. I definitely appreciate my first two pregnancies much more than I did before. But I soldiered on and before I knew it, week 11 arrived. My energy returned and life went back to normal. Thank goodness for that because the heat this summer kicked my ass!
September 2012: Lauren turned 18 months and the tantrums and rebellion have begun. On the same token, she is the sweetest little girl in the whole world. She is so loving! It's pure joy to have to opportunity to spend my days with her.
Turner turns 5 years old soon and I find it challenging to spend one-on-one time with him because of the to-do's that I can't seem to keep up with these days. I try my best. I think I'm doing a pretty good job, but there is always room for improvement. We are planning a Ninja-themed birthday party this year. He's SO into it. His enthusiasm is contagious. I'm really looking forward to it.
We went to Disney World! Four days and three nights of good times. Ok, so we had a rocky start. The kids didn't hardly sleep at all the night before, I only had 3 hours of sleep before traveling, and Tanner got a stress migraine and puked the entire first day. After all of that was out of the way, the fun began. We partied. it. up. The kids loved it. We loved it. We are already planning to go back in three years. Can't wait!
October 2012: Here we are. Eleven weeks from adding another addition to the family. I'm feeling stressed and anxious. All of the normal feelings people experience before a life-changing even takes place.
As part of the de-stress thing I'm working on, I'm going to blog more frequently. I find that writing helps me relax. I promise it won't all be about pregnancy and baby-stuff. I've got way more things on my mind, just not a whole lot of time.
Speaking of...evening time with the Hubs is a rarity and I need to take advantage of being able to use cuss words and behave inappropriately.
Later!
Oh, and like the rest of the American female population, I read Fifty Shades of Grey this summer. I finished the first book, but wasn't intrigued enough to pick up the second book of the series. Overrated.
K, I really should go now.
Thanks for continuing to follow me despite my absence! Love you guys.
June 2012: After Hubs and I decided to schedule his vasectomy and a trip to the ER for ovarian cysts, we found out I'm pregnant! Number 3.
Holy shit.
I shed a few tears and Tanner wrapped his arms around me and and gave me much needed words of comfort. I wasn't sad, I was just overwhelmed at the time. This is the first unplanned pregnancy I've ever had and it freaked me out. Those of you that know me on a personal level know that I don't leave much room for spontaneity in my life. It's a blessing and a curse. I take comfort in knowing what most of my days are going to be like. I always have a plan. The news of a pregnancy blind-sided me. Tanner was so cool about it. He helped me calm down and appreciate the fact that we are going to add another adorable Steinbauer to our little family.
One of the things about the SAHM gig is that I don't find many opportunities to relieve stress. I find myself wound a little tight some days. I need to work on that.
July 2012: My first trimester was not easy. I was very ill and exhausted most days. I definitely appreciate my first two pregnancies much more than I did before. But I soldiered on and before I knew it, week 11 arrived. My energy returned and life went back to normal. Thank goodness for that because the heat this summer kicked my ass!
September 2012: Lauren turned 18 months and the tantrums and rebellion have begun. On the same token, she is the sweetest little girl in the whole world. She is so loving! It's pure joy to have to opportunity to spend my days with her.
Turner turns 5 years old soon and I find it challenging to spend one-on-one time with him because of the to-do's that I can't seem to keep up with these days. I try my best. I think I'm doing a pretty good job, but there is always room for improvement. We are planning a Ninja-themed birthday party this year. He's SO into it. His enthusiasm is contagious. I'm really looking forward to it.
We went to Disney World! Four days and three nights of good times. Ok, so we had a rocky start. The kids didn't hardly sleep at all the night before, I only had 3 hours of sleep before traveling, and Tanner got a stress migraine and puked the entire first day. After all of that was out of the way, the fun began. We partied. it. up. The kids loved it. We loved it. We are already planning to go back in three years. Can't wait!
October 2012: Here we are. Eleven weeks from adding another addition to the family. I'm feeling stressed and anxious. All of the normal feelings people experience before a life-changing even takes place.
As part of the de-stress thing I'm working on, I'm going to blog more frequently. I find that writing helps me relax. I promise it won't all be about pregnancy and baby-stuff. I've got way more things on my mind, just not a whole lot of time.
Speaking of...evening time with the Hubs is a rarity and I need to take advantage of being able to use cuss words and behave inappropriately.
Later!
Oh, and like the rest of the American female population, I read Fifty Shades of Grey this summer. I finished the first book, but wasn't intrigued enough to pick up the second book of the series. Overrated.
K, I really should go now.
Thanks for continuing to follow me despite my absence! Love you guys.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Cruel, Cruel World
The other day, I had to take Hubs truck in for an oil change. Fortunately, the garage has a wonderful play room for children. There are crates of cool toys, blocks, tables set up with puzzles, a rocking horse, shelves of books, and a television with a selection of dvd's to choose from. The best part is that they only charge $26 for a full-service oil change and a tire rotation. It's FABULOUS!
After 20 minutes or so, Lauren realizes that there are people and other happenings going on outside of the play room. So, we ventured out into the waiting area and she hobbled around exploring everything like most 15 month old children would do. I noticed we were being watched by a man who was probably in his fifties and I acknowledged him by smiling and saying hello. I wasn't bothered by him because, as I've experienced many times in public, most older people LOVE to watch small children. I'm guessing they look at my children and reminisce about their own, or their grandchildren, or whoever. And most of the time, they share a story about their own child, grandchild, etc.
After a few comments about the weather and the day, the man asked me, "How can you bring children into this world knowing all of the horrible things that can happen to them?"
I was taken off guard by his question, but quickly replied, "Because this world needs good people too, and I like to think my children will grow up helping others."
I would be lying if I said I never thought about how terrible this world can be before deciding to have my first child. I definitely thought about it. I continue to worry at times about how things in life can go wrong and my children could be hurt. But I have to let all of that go. I mean, I take a risk of getting into a car accident every time I drive my car, right? I can't allow myself to go through life thinking about all of the bad things that could happen.
I choose to be happy. I raise our children to be happy and enjoy life. My children are loved and protected. I live in a rural area where kidnappings and murders rarely occur and I do my best to ensure they are kept out of danger. However, the bottom line is, I can only control so much.
I cannot guarantee that my children will never have a traumatic experience. And I'm okay with that.
I can control myself, the environment my children are in, the household they are raised in, and the people that surround them.
As a parent, I have an obligation to ensure my children are cared for in the best way possible and it's also my obligation to teach them to care for our Earth and to care for others. It's my obligation to teach them morals, ethics, rules, and how to respond to what life put in front of us.
I know it's a cruel world. I know this world can be an ugly place.
I also know that this world his full of loving people, beauty, and endless opportunity.
The way I look at it is, I'm not burdening my children by bringing them into this world, I am allowing my children to be loved, to have a passion for life, to enjoy others, and I'm allowing them to see that this world can really be a wonderful place to be.
It is my hope that our children grow to be happy and fulfilled adults and I hope they live life in a way that has a positive impact on others.
What kind of Mother would I be if I didn't dream of endless happiness and enrichment for my children?
After 20 minutes or so, Lauren realizes that there are people and other happenings going on outside of the play room. So, we ventured out into the waiting area and she hobbled around exploring everything like most 15 month old children would do. I noticed we were being watched by a man who was probably in his fifties and I acknowledged him by smiling and saying hello. I wasn't bothered by him because, as I've experienced many times in public, most older people LOVE to watch small children. I'm guessing they look at my children and reminisce about their own, or their grandchildren, or whoever. And most of the time, they share a story about their own child, grandchild, etc.
After a few comments about the weather and the day, the man asked me, "How can you bring children into this world knowing all of the horrible things that can happen to them?"
I was taken off guard by his question, but quickly replied, "Because this world needs good people too, and I like to think my children will grow up helping others."
I would be lying if I said I never thought about how terrible this world can be before deciding to have my first child. I definitely thought about it. I continue to worry at times about how things in life can go wrong and my children could be hurt. But I have to let all of that go. I mean, I take a risk of getting into a car accident every time I drive my car, right? I can't allow myself to go through life thinking about all of the bad things that could happen.
I choose to be happy. I raise our children to be happy and enjoy life. My children are loved and protected. I live in a rural area where kidnappings and murders rarely occur and I do my best to ensure they are kept out of danger. However, the bottom line is, I can only control so much.
I cannot guarantee that my children will never have a traumatic experience. And I'm okay with that.
I can control myself, the environment my children are in, the household they are raised in, and the people that surround them.
As a parent, I have an obligation to ensure my children are cared for in the best way possible and it's also my obligation to teach them to care for our Earth and to care for others. It's my obligation to teach them morals, ethics, rules, and how to respond to what life put in front of us.
I know it's a cruel world. I know this world can be an ugly place.
I also know that this world his full of loving people, beauty, and endless opportunity.
The way I look at it is, I'm not burdening my children by bringing them into this world, I am allowing my children to be loved, to have a passion for life, to enjoy others, and I'm allowing them to see that this world can really be a wonderful place to be.
It is my hope that our children grow to be happy and fulfilled adults and I hope they live life in a way that has a positive impact on others.
What kind of Mother would I be if I didn't dream of endless happiness and enrichment for my children?
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
March Madness
Don't worry, this post isn't going to be about filling out brackets or any of the other things that go with the 'March Madness' label. I've NEVER watched a college basketball game. I'm sure someday I likely will...maybe if my kids are into it or if I have some cash invested or something. It could happen.
I hate to admit it, but I've really been sucked into the boob tube for the past couple of months. Not daytime television. I don't have the time before 8:30 p.m. to sit on the couch nor do I find daytime television in any way appealing. I stay away from the news as much as possible. I should probably try to stay more informed, but I find it so depressing. Anymore I find that some of the stories I hear on the news haunt me for days or weeks. I just don't have the energy to spare.
DVR is pretty much one of the best things ever. Hubs and I have been watching Modern Family, Cougartown, we watch the challenges and weigh-ins on The Biggest Loser, The Voice, American Idol, and Celebrity Apprentice. Having the ability to fast forward through commercials and all of the filler allows us to enjoy multiple shows within 90 minutes or less.
Books! Books! Books! I've been reading like crazy lately and I've been fortunate to have picked up some really good reads. I'm currently on the second book of The Hunger Games series. LOVE IT! I've heard the movie is disappointing but I will probably watch it anyway. I typically take a book to bed to help me fall asleep and instead I find myself staying awake because I'm so sucked in. Most of the time, I crash around 12:30 a.m. Beautiful Miss L. and Mr. Turner wake up between 7 and 8 so I still feel like I get enough sleep. On some days I feel a bit sluggish around 3 p.m. so I'll brew a cup of joe and I'm re-energized for the rest of the day and evening.
I think working out has helped my energy level as well. I've started running again. Only a couple of days a week, but it's making a difference. I feel better. I haven't noticed a weight loss and my clothing still fits the same, but mentally I'm much more relaxed and happy. I'm thinking about doing a few 5k's this summer just to keep me motivated. I would love for my husband and kids to be there cheering me on. It would pretty much make my year. We'll see. Hubs work schedule is overwhelming and it's difficult to just find time where all of us are able to be in the same room together. Additionally, we are still in the process of renovating our home and we have a few major projects coming up in April and May.
Life never lets up does it? As long as I can remember, it's always been a race. Busy, busy. Sometimes I wish it would all slow down, but I have to keep in mind that I am in the prime of my life. We are involved in creating, dreaming, building, and growing. We are leaving footprints in this world.
I've taken on a couple of child care gigs. I've been taking care of my niece on Friday's and in May I will be taking care of my cousin's two children on Monday's. I'm LOVING being able to spend time with my family's little ones! It's been a great opportunity for me to get to know them. Plus, they are so adorable.
Did I mention I became an Aunt again? On February 20th, my nephew Ryan Danger Johnson was born. He has a full head of black hair and is the cutest little guy. A few evenings ago, he fell asleep laying on my chest. He was curled up in his newborn fashion; legs tucked, fists curled... it was heaven on Earth.
Speaking of babies, Tanner and I have decided that our family is complete. We have been blessed with a healthy son and daughter. That is enough for us. Now we just have to decide on which one of us will be the one that goes in for the procedure that seals the deal.
I'm often asked by people if I plan to return to work and honestly, I don't know. Right now I'm trying to be in the moment and take it one day at a time. I've spent the past 15 years of my life planning my future. College, career, wedding, house, kids, etc... major decisions that have all led me to where I am today. I don't know what the future will bring, but there is no point in worrying about it right now. Today I couldn't be happier and I'll make the best of my tomorrow.
I hate to admit it, but I've really been sucked into the boob tube for the past couple of months. Not daytime television. I don't have the time before 8:30 p.m. to sit on the couch nor do I find daytime television in any way appealing. I stay away from the news as much as possible. I should probably try to stay more informed, but I find it so depressing. Anymore I find that some of the stories I hear on the news haunt me for days or weeks. I just don't have the energy to spare.
DVR is pretty much one of the best things ever. Hubs and I have been watching Modern Family, Cougartown, we watch the challenges and weigh-ins on The Biggest Loser, The Voice, American Idol, and Celebrity Apprentice. Having the ability to fast forward through commercials and all of the filler allows us to enjoy multiple shows within 90 minutes or less.
Books! Books! Books! I've been reading like crazy lately and I've been fortunate to have picked up some really good reads. I'm currently on the second book of The Hunger Games series. LOVE IT! I've heard the movie is disappointing but I will probably watch it anyway. I typically take a book to bed to help me fall asleep and instead I find myself staying awake because I'm so sucked in. Most of the time, I crash around 12:30 a.m. Beautiful Miss L. and Mr. Turner wake up between 7 and 8 so I still feel like I get enough sleep. On some days I feel a bit sluggish around 3 p.m. so I'll brew a cup of joe and I'm re-energized for the rest of the day and evening.
I think working out has helped my energy level as well. I've started running again. Only a couple of days a week, but it's making a difference. I feel better. I haven't noticed a weight loss and my clothing still fits the same, but mentally I'm much more relaxed and happy. I'm thinking about doing a few 5k's this summer just to keep me motivated. I would love for my husband and kids to be there cheering me on. It would pretty much make my year. We'll see. Hubs work schedule is overwhelming and it's difficult to just find time where all of us are able to be in the same room together. Additionally, we are still in the process of renovating our home and we have a few major projects coming up in April and May.
Life never lets up does it? As long as I can remember, it's always been a race. Busy, busy. Sometimes I wish it would all slow down, but I have to keep in mind that I am in the prime of my life. We are involved in creating, dreaming, building, and growing. We are leaving footprints in this world.
I've taken on a couple of child care gigs. I've been taking care of my niece on Friday's and in May I will be taking care of my cousin's two children on Monday's. I'm LOVING being able to spend time with my family's little ones! It's been a great opportunity for me to get to know them. Plus, they are so adorable.
Did I mention I became an Aunt again? On February 20th, my nephew Ryan Danger Johnson was born. He has a full head of black hair and is the cutest little guy. A few evenings ago, he fell asleep laying on my chest. He was curled up in his newborn fashion; legs tucked, fists curled... it was heaven on Earth.
Speaking of babies, Tanner and I have decided that our family is complete. We have been blessed with a healthy son and daughter. That is enough for us. Now we just have to decide on which one of us will be the one that goes in for the procedure that seals the deal.
I'm often asked by people if I plan to return to work and honestly, I don't know. Right now I'm trying to be in the moment and take it one day at a time. I've spent the past 15 years of my life planning my future. College, career, wedding, house, kids, etc... major decisions that have all led me to where I am today. I don't know what the future will bring, but there is no point in worrying about it right now. Today I couldn't be happier and I'll make the best of my tomorrow.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sombody f*cking peed on me!
Hubs and I will be attending a wedding this weekend. Hubs and Turner are part of the wedding party. Lauren and I will play our endearing roles as 'Adorable Daughter' and 'Trophy Wife'.
After the wedding will be the reception.
At the reception there will be FREE BOOZE!!
Unfortunately, I will not be able to partake in any of the 'tossing back' of the alcoholic beverages. I am still a responsible Mommy/Wife tomorrow night. I will be taking Lauren and Turner back to the hotel room for the night routine of pajamas, snuggling, and bedtime around 8 p.m.
Last year, I didn't drink alcohol because I was breastfeeding my little one. The prior year, I was preggo. Social functions that provide alcohol don't really seem to work out in my favor.
On a positive note, I won't have to worry about crossing the line between 'one too many' and getting 'completely shit-faced.' The latter is easy to do when getting back into the swing of things.
Once upon a time,
in my single days,
after too many drinks,
I totally turned into this woman.
Okay, so that isn't really me; my moves aren't that good. Mine are a little more jerky and unbalanced.
Aaaaanyway,
I got drunk. Really, really DRUNK.
Then, these based-on-true-events-in-my-life-but-don't-ask-me-about-them-in-person-or-I-will-deny-them-and-change-the-subject, may have taken place:
1. Friend assists me home since my 'date' decides he feels it best to leave solo and tells me it would be "best if I didn't call him again. Ever. Really, please don't call me."
2. I wake up the next day realizing I'm a.) Fully clothed blech b.) in my own bed oh yeah and c.) alone
thank you baby Jesus!
3. While fighting nausea, I run through a quick montage of the night before. First, the cool moments. (I looked HOT last night! I did 10 shots, drank 12 beers and didn't puke! I danced all night!) then, the not-so-cool stuff (I acquired my dance moves from the MTV spring-break themed dance show, The Grind... in 1994! I was SO sweaty! I'm pretty sure I requested Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" and tossed my hair around trying to do my best Tawny Kitaen-like gymnastics on the cake table! I dirty danced with the overweight DJ that smelled like Brut cologne and pipe tobacco!)
4. Then, I reminisce about the 4 a.m. deep fried somethings I smothered in Ranch dressing and inhaled like it was my last meal. Oh man, I'm going to puke.
5. After my food thought, I force myself to sit up. A soft pack of Basic Lights crumble in my back pocket. Vaguely, I remember smoking cigarrette's and blowing spoke rings for an audience last night. Bile builds in my sour stomach and my saliva glands go into overdrive; my clammy, grey-skinned self realizes that something else isn't quite right.
6. Why are my socks wet?
7. I remove my wet socks and give them a sniff.
8. SOMEBODY PISSED ON MY SOCKS! Immediately, I'm irate. What kind of an asshole pees on a person's socks!
9. Did I pee on my socks? I don't remember having to go outside to pee last night. Did I get too close to someone peeing outside? No. I'm pretty sure the answer is no. Then how the hell...
10. Wait a minute. My jeans are wet.
11. Yep. So are my sheets.
12. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
13. Last, I humbly waddle to the restroom where I peel off my pee pants and swear to all that is holy that I will neverneverneverevereverever drink that much again.
14. I vow to take a break from any social shindig that may risk running into anyone I saw the night before. By 'take a break' I mean relocate 40 miles north, find new employment, a new doctor, a new dentist, and pretty much a new life for the next 10 years. All of that, only to return for a friend's wedding and have the DJ ask me, "Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar."
(shudder)
(gag)
The End.
After the wedding will be the reception.
At the reception there will be FREE BOOZE!!
Unfortunately, I will not be able to partake in any of the 'tossing back' of the alcoholic beverages. I am still a responsible Mommy/Wife tomorrow night. I will be taking Lauren and Turner back to the hotel room for the night routine of pajamas, snuggling, and bedtime around 8 p.m.
Last year, I didn't drink alcohol because I was breastfeeding my little one. The prior year, I was preggo. Social functions that provide alcohol don't really seem to work out in my favor.
On a positive note, I won't have to worry about crossing the line between 'one too many' and getting 'completely shit-faced.' The latter is easy to do when getting back into the swing of things.
Once upon a time,
in my single days,
after too many drinks,
I totally turned into this woman.
Okay, so that isn't really me; my moves aren't that good. Mine are a little more jerky and unbalanced.
Aaaaanyway,
I got drunk. Really, really DRUNK.
Then, these based-on-true-events-in-my-life-but-don't-ask-me-about-them-in-person-or-I-will-deny-them-and-change-the-subject, may have taken place:
1. Friend assists me home since my 'date' decides he feels it best to leave solo and tells me it would be "best if I didn't call him again. Ever. Really, please don't call me."
2. I wake up the next day realizing I'm a.) Fully clothed blech b.) in my own bed oh yeah and c.) alone
thank you baby Jesus!
3. While fighting nausea, I run through a quick montage of the night before. First, the cool moments. (I looked HOT last night! I did 10 shots, drank 12 beers and didn't puke! I danced all night!) then, the not-so-cool stuff (I acquired my dance moves from the MTV spring-break themed dance show, The Grind... in 1994! I was SO sweaty! I'm pretty sure I requested Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" and tossed my hair around trying to do my best Tawny Kitaen-like gymnastics on the cake table! I dirty danced with the overweight DJ that smelled like Brut cologne and pipe tobacco!)
4. Then, I reminisce about the 4 a.m. deep fried somethings I smothered in Ranch dressing and inhaled like it was my last meal. Oh man, I'm going to puke.
5. After my food thought, I force myself to sit up. A soft pack of Basic Lights crumble in my back pocket. Vaguely, I remember smoking cigarrette's and blowing spoke rings for an audience last night. Bile builds in my sour stomach and my saliva glands go into overdrive; my clammy, grey-skinned self realizes that something else isn't quite right.
6. Why are my socks wet?
7. I remove my wet socks and give them a sniff.
8. SOMEBODY PISSED ON MY SOCKS! Immediately, I'm irate. What kind of an asshole pees on a person's socks!
9. Did I pee on my socks? I don't remember having to go outside to pee last night. Did I get too close to someone peeing outside? No. I'm pretty sure the answer is no. Then how the hell...
10. Wait a minute. My jeans are wet.
11. Yep. So are my sheets.
12. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
13. Last, I humbly waddle to the restroom where I peel off my pee pants and swear to all that is holy that I will neverneverneverevereverever drink that much again.
14. I vow to take a break from any social shindig that may risk running into anyone I saw the night before. By 'take a break' I mean relocate 40 miles north, find new employment, a new doctor, a new dentist, and pretty much a new life for the next 10 years. All of that, only to return for a friend's wedding and have the DJ ask me, "Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar."
(shudder)
(gag)
The End.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
PINNING!
Charlie Sheen is WINNING (not really) and I am PINNING!
I'm addicted to Pinterest!
So far the kids and I did one of these:
I bought 6 packs of beers for the guys this year and decorated them like this: 
And I used this:
as inspiration to create my own indoor version wrapped in ribbon and hung with tulle.
And last, the kids and I made some of these:
and they were DELICIOUS!
I'm addicted to Pinterest!
So far the kids and I did one of these:
And last, the kids and I made some of these:
Friday, December 23, 2011
Fan-freaking-tastic!
So you know how my last post I was all, "I'm going to journal words I read in books?" Yeah well, I haven't picked up a book since that post. Too much holiday jazz going on.
Have your children been rotten lately? That boy of mine has been ornery as ever! We keep telling him that one of Santa's elves is watching him and reporting his behavior to Santa. Do you think that stopped him from jumping out of the bathroom naked, spreading his butt cheeks apart, and shaking his butt at me? The answer is no... no, it didn't. Do you think the threat of not getting any Christmas presents stopped my son from calling Hubs a pussy this week? Again the answer is no. (Btw, we discovered that he learned that word from a child at school this week.) So a quick shout out goes out to all of the parents or older siblings who don't give a second thought about using bad words in front of children. Saying a bad word in front of a child that age is like broadcasting it to America. Then, that child goes to school and calls all of the other kids pussies so that those kids can go home and tell their parents and siblings that they are pussies too. (sigh) Oh, and Hubs seriously almost crapped his pants when he heard that word come out of Turner's mouth.
Want to know what Lauren's latest obsession is? ME! I can't walk out of her sight or she cries. When I set her down, she fusses. When she's playing and sees me from across the room, she stops what she's doing and speed crawls to me. Then she tugs on my pant leg to be picked up. I'm pretty sure my right arm is presently bigger than my left. I've gotten stronger carrying her 21 lbs. around, that's certain. I don't give in to her whining all of the time, but most of the time I'm a sucker. Especially, when those big blue eyes get watery and her bottom lip sticks out. Separation anxiety has officially set in.
I had a spray tan party tonight. To be honest, I didn't really care about getting a tan; I just enjoyed having friends over. The tan was a bonus. It is a very light tan, not the Jersey Shore-I-just-rolled-in-a-bowl-of-Cheetos tan. It looks good. The tan was airbrushed all over my body so I'm pretty pumped about it camouflaging my spider veins, acne, stretch marks and all of the other imperfections I pretend don't exist.
We are getting our family picture taken tomorrow. This will be the first professional family picture taken since Lauren was born. I'm really banking on it to turn out good. The last time a family pic was taken, I left in tears. Long story short, my expectations are pretty low. All I'm hoping for is one decent picture. One decent picture with all of us looking at the camera. A picture with all of us looking at the camera with our eyes open. Smiles would be a bonus. Wish us luck!
Have your children been rotten lately? That boy of mine has been ornery as ever! We keep telling him that one of Santa's elves is watching him and reporting his behavior to Santa. Do you think that stopped him from jumping out of the bathroom naked, spreading his butt cheeks apart, and shaking his butt at me? The answer is no... no, it didn't. Do you think the threat of not getting any Christmas presents stopped my son from calling Hubs a pussy this week? Again the answer is no. (Btw, we discovered that he learned that word from a child at school this week.) So a quick shout out goes out to all of the parents or older siblings who don't give a second thought about using bad words in front of children. Saying a bad word in front of a child that age is like broadcasting it to America. Then, that child goes to school and calls all of the other kids pussies so that those kids can go home and tell their parents and siblings that they are pussies too. (sigh) Oh, and Hubs seriously almost crapped his pants when he heard that word come out of Turner's mouth.
Want to know what Lauren's latest obsession is? ME! I can't walk out of her sight or she cries. When I set her down, she fusses. When she's playing and sees me from across the room, she stops what she's doing and speed crawls to me. Then she tugs on my pant leg to be picked up. I'm pretty sure my right arm is presently bigger than my left. I've gotten stronger carrying her 21 lbs. around, that's certain. I don't give in to her whining all of the time, but most of the time I'm a sucker. Especially, when those big blue eyes get watery and her bottom lip sticks out. Separation anxiety has officially set in.
I had a spray tan party tonight. To be honest, I didn't really care about getting a tan; I just enjoyed having friends over. The tan was a bonus. It is a very light tan, not the Jersey Shore-I-just-rolled-in-a-bowl-of-Cheetos tan. It looks good. The tan was airbrushed all over my body so I'm pretty pumped about it camouflaging my spider veins, acne, stretch marks and all of the other imperfections I pretend don't exist.
We are getting our family picture taken tomorrow. This will be the first professional family picture taken since Lauren was born. I'm really banking on it to turn out good. The last time a family pic was taken, I left in tears. Long story short, my expectations are pretty low. All I'm hoping for is one decent picture. One decent picture with all of us looking at the camera. A picture with all of us looking at the camera with our eyes open. Smiles would be a bonus. Wish us luck!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
And I quote...
I found it inspiring.
With all of the reading I have done recently, I have ran across quite a few pieces that I would like to reflect on later. I used to dog-ear pages of books in my collection to mark my favorite lines, but I am going to try journaling them.
I have a planner with a section in the back of it for notes. I will start there. When I fill up the pages, I will then be able to justify purchasing an actual journal.
If I stick with adding quotes to a journal, it is my hope that maybe my spouse or children will enjoy reading it someday too. I think it would be a wonderful gift to pass on after I am gone.
Blogging and scrapbooking are ways I am currently marking my existence. They are moments of my life frozen in time. A journal will be added as well. I love technology, but I love writing on paper more. It is more personal. It creates a connection between the writer and a reader that a font cannot.
Maybe I will share some of the quotes with all of you from time to time...
Or maybe I will just keep them quietly tucked away in my journal.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Morning thoughts . . . an evening reflection.
Today started off well because I actually woke up before my kids and my husband. You know what that means? Not only did I get to take a shower, I actually got to take my time in the shower. I shampooed, conditioned, shaved, lathered, exfoliated, and reflected on my life while posing in a Tebow stance. I did all those things without having to hear, "Turner, leave Mommy alone." or "MOM! Where's my (insert object of desire here)?" or my other child crying from the nursery.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think there is an alarm that goes off in Lauren's crib as soon as I start washing my hair. Never fails. I pour a blob of shampoo in my hand, pause to listen for crying, hear nothing, place blob on top of my head and start rubbing, BOOM! I hear Lauren screaming from across the hall. I quickly rinse, grab a towel, and rush to the nursery only to realize that Lauren is still sleeping. I do this CONSTANTLY.
After my shower, I put on my bra that must have stretched in the wash. I don't remember my baloobas only filling half of the cups the last time I wore it. Oh wait, that was before my milk supply started depleting.
Side note: have any of you tried Mother's Milk? It's a tea with the herb Fenugreek. It's supposed to help you produce more milk. Today was my first day trying it and it tastes like someone dropped a Good N' Plenty in a cup of warm water. It's pretty horrible. I have to drink it holding my breath, closing my eyes, and chugging it like I'm a sixteen year old at a keg party.
Anyway.
When I put on my bra this morning, I had a gap between my breasts and my bra that could easily accommodate a couple of hamsters. That is, if I were a hamster smuggler. Which I am not. Yet. (Note to self: Visit pet store and look for hamsters that look desperate for freedom.) Regardless of my cup size, which I have yet to establish, I choose to look at my cups as being half full versus the pessimistic half empty perspective. Let me tell you why. Big cans aren't what they are cracked up to be. Sure they look nice under heavy fabric but as a D cup veteran, they are quite an obstacle. Large bazoons are heavy, they make it practically impossible to wear a button-up, and they can make any shirt look trashy because of the endless boob-crack that begins at your sternum and ends below your 3rd row of ribs. Plus, large breasts try to sneak into your armpit and steal your deodorant when you lay on your back. Do some of you ladies now understand why you are waking up with b.o. in the morning? It's not night sweats, it's your hooters. Thank goodness I wear a bra to bed, but that's another story.
Hooters. I never eaten at a Hooters. I hear they have good wings. I'm not a fan of the sheer nude hose some of the girls wear under their shorts. I've seen it in their advertisements. It looks tacky. Are they trying to hide their spider veins and cellulite? It reminds me of an 80's Jane Fonda exercise video. Wait a minute, I guess Hooters slogan is 'delightfully tacky, yet unrefined.' What the hell does that even mean? I thought about being a Hooters waitress once. Seriously, I did. Good thing I got over that. Even though the tips are probably amazing, I'm not sure a job at Hooters screams, 'Take me seriously. I'm not an object, I'm a career woman!' Then again, neither does a career in Massage Therapy. Truth is, at the end of the day, someone just wants to see if they can peek down your shirt, be grazed by a nipple, or hope for an inseam that might define your camel toe.
Does your spouse or boyfriend have a name for your breasts? Hubs just refers to mine as 'Boobs'. I'm ok with that. Nothing ruins a sexual tryst more than anatomically correct terminology. Anatomically correct terminology and / or a picture of their parents on a bedside table. Or any music by the band Styx. Or a pet watching you from the floor. It's hard to put on your porn face when you are being stared at by a carpet scooting pug named Tex.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think there is an alarm that goes off in Lauren's crib as soon as I start washing my hair. Never fails. I pour a blob of shampoo in my hand, pause to listen for crying, hear nothing, place blob on top of my head and start rubbing, BOOM! I hear Lauren screaming from across the hall. I quickly rinse, grab a towel, and rush to the nursery only to realize that Lauren is still sleeping. I do this CONSTANTLY.
After my shower, I put on my bra that must have stretched in the wash. I don't remember my baloobas only filling half of the cups the last time I wore it. Oh wait, that was before my milk supply started depleting.
Side note: have any of you tried Mother's Milk? It's a tea with the herb Fenugreek. It's supposed to help you produce more milk. Today was my first day trying it and it tastes like someone dropped a Good N' Plenty in a cup of warm water. It's pretty horrible. I have to drink it holding my breath, closing my eyes, and chugging it like I'm a sixteen year old at a keg party.
Anyway.
When I put on my bra this morning, I had a gap between my breasts and my bra that could easily accommodate a couple of hamsters. That is, if I were a hamster smuggler. Which I am not. Yet. (Note to self: Visit pet store and look for hamsters that look desperate for freedom.) Regardless of my cup size, which I have yet to establish, I choose to look at my cups as being half full versus the pessimistic half empty perspective. Let me tell you why. Big cans aren't what they are cracked up to be. Sure they look nice under heavy fabric but as a D cup veteran, they are quite an obstacle. Large bazoons are heavy, they make it practically impossible to wear a button-up, and they can make any shirt look trashy because of the endless boob-crack that begins at your sternum and ends below your 3rd row of ribs. Plus, large breasts try to sneak into your armpit and steal your deodorant when you lay on your back. Do some of you ladies now understand why you are waking up with b.o. in the morning? It's not night sweats, it's your hooters. Thank goodness I wear a bra to bed, but that's another story.
Hooters. I never eaten at a Hooters. I hear they have good wings. I'm not a fan of the sheer nude hose some of the girls wear under their shorts. I've seen it in their advertisements. It looks tacky. Are they trying to hide their spider veins and cellulite? It reminds me of an 80's Jane Fonda exercise video. Wait a minute, I guess Hooters slogan is 'delightfully tacky, yet unrefined.' What the hell does that even mean? I thought about being a Hooters waitress once. Seriously, I did. Good thing I got over that. Even though the tips are probably amazing, I'm not sure a job at Hooters screams, 'Take me seriously. I'm not an object, I'm a career woman!' Then again, neither does a career in Massage Therapy. Truth is, at the end of the day, someone just wants to see if they can peek down your shirt, be grazed by a nipple, or hope for an inseam that might define your camel toe.
Does your spouse or boyfriend have a name for your breasts? Hubs just refers to mine as 'Boobs'. I'm ok with that. Nothing ruins a sexual tryst more than anatomically correct terminology. Anatomically correct terminology and / or a picture of their parents on a bedside table. Or any music by the band Styx. Or a pet watching you from the floor. It's hard to put on your porn face when you are being stared at by a carpet scooting pug named Tex.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
List of 10 happenings and/or realizations
1. My little guy turned 4 in October. He's losing his baby fat in his cheeks. His personality is really coming out. He's sensitive. He's hyperactive. He's aggressive. He's in love with Superhero's and Pixar films. He's singing and dancing much more these days. He's adventurous. He loves to snuggle in the evenings. He's not napping much anymore. He enjoys learning. He wants to know about everything. He seeks individual attention constantly. He's a lot of work, our Turner John. We put quite a bit of time and energy into him. He is going to make a fine man someday, we are sure of it. I'm already so proud of our son for who he is becoming. Despite his ornery tendencies, he's a great kid and a very loving little boy.
2. The holidays are upon us. We have been blessed this year as we have finally overcome our financial struggle. For the first time in a long time, we aren't stressing about how we are going to pay our bills. There is nothing like the humbleness of living paycheck to paycheck to transform our spending habits. Once a person gets in the habit of living at poverty level, it's not difficult to refrain from buying things we don't need. We were able to complete our holiday shopping early this year and stay under budget. I can't explain how good this feels considering last year we were feeling sad about not being able to give gifts to our friends and family. I understand that the holidays are more about spending time with those that you love, but it feels really good to surprise them with something they would enjoy. It feels good to give.
3. Turner's eye looks really really bad. It's been floating inward much worse than it was prior to his surgery, even with his corrective lenses on. The failed surgery makes Tanner and I upset. Turner is currently enrolled in swim lessons and he has to take his glasses off when he gets in the water . He has difficulty seeing and fortunately, none of the other kids have asked him about his eyes. Recently, I learned that I am able to order prescription goggles for him. I was SHOCKED to see that they cost less than $10! I wish I would have know about them months ago, but as the saying goes, better late than never. I purchased him a pair of blue tinted ones. They will make his floating eyes less visible to others. I didn't think I would say this, but I am anxiously awaiting his next surgery. It could happen as soon as February. I'm really really hoping that the surgeon can fix his eyes for good. It saddens me to think about the teasing Turner will have to endure as he gets older if they can't correct his eyes. But, I have to throw those thoughts aside for now and try not to worry about events that may not even occur.
4. Lauren, at 9 months, is pulling herself up on furniture, standing, and cruising around. I'm guessing she will be walking by Christmas! This blows my mind. She just started crawling 3 weeks ago! Turner didn't walk until he was 13 months so naturally, I expected Lauren to do the same. It's funny to watch her because she's so tiny, it doesn't seem right that she's walking herself around. Her hair is growing fast. It's platinum, just like big brother's hair color. She has two little bottom teeth. She smiles constantly and is so quiet. Her demeanor is calm and she's almost always content with whatever she is doing. She can say Bah-Bah (bottle), Bye-bye, and Hi. She has said Mama a few times, but it isn't part of her regular vocabulary. She self-weaned a couple of weeks ago and prefers a bottle. I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest Mom on Earth right now.
5. Facebook and Blogger has become my only social contact to the outside world. I get texts from friends every once in awhile, but sometimes I feel really isolated. I figured it would happen. After the holidays, maybe I'll try to plan more get-togethers. I miss my friends very much.
6. I started exercising on a regular basis to help with my stress. I had forgotten how good I feel when I work out and eat healthier. I'm hoping to keep it up and not only lose my remaining 10 lbs. of baby weight, but I would enjoy taking my kids to swim this summer without feeling so self-conscious.
7. Tanner and I have discussed having more children. The jury is still out on this one.
8. I think we will get a puppy this Spring. Turner has been wanting one and I really want one too. Not that I miss cleaning up after a pet. After our previous dog passed, it was AWESOME to be rid of all responsibility that comes with owning a dog, but the joy that a pet brings trumps the tasks any day.
9. Hubs has 3 hernias. He is scheduled for surgery on Dec. 6. The surgeon will be putting a mesh lining along his abdominal wall. The surgeon also said that Tanner 'will be so sore that getting up to eat or use the bathroom will be something he will wish he didn't have to do.' Evidently, he's going to be in a lot of pain for a couple of days. Poor Hubs.
10. Along with exercising, I've been reading again. Can't get enough. I've been going through a book every 4 days. I only have time to read at night so there are times I've turned out the light at 1:30 a.m. and regretted it in the morning, but it's worth it. Now, if I can bring myself to stay up on the current events outside of celebrity gossip and football I'll be doing good!
Good night all, and thanks for reading!
2. The holidays are upon us. We have been blessed this year as we have finally overcome our financial struggle. For the first time in a long time, we aren't stressing about how we are going to pay our bills. There is nothing like the humbleness of living paycheck to paycheck to transform our spending habits. Once a person gets in the habit of living at poverty level, it's not difficult to refrain from buying things we don't need. We were able to complete our holiday shopping early this year and stay under budget. I can't explain how good this feels considering last year we were feeling sad about not being able to give gifts to our friends and family. I understand that the holidays are more about spending time with those that you love, but it feels really good to surprise them with something they would enjoy. It feels good to give.
3. Turner's eye looks really really bad. It's been floating inward much worse than it was prior to his surgery, even with his corrective lenses on. The failed surgery makes Tanner and I upset. Turner is currently enrolled in swim lessons and he has to take his glasses off when he gets in the water . He has difficulty seeing and fortunately, none of the other kids have asked him about his eyes. Recently, I learned that I am able to order prescription goggles for him. I was SHOCKED to see that they cost less than $10! I wish I would have know about them months ago, but as the saying goes, better late than never. I purchased him a pair of blue tinted ones. They will make his floating eyes less visible to others. I didn't think I would say this, but I am anxiously awaiting his next surgery. It could happen as soon as February. I'm really really hoping that the surgeon can fix his eyes for good. It saddens me to think about the teasing Turner will have to endure as he gets older if they can't correct his eyes. But, I have to throw those thoughts aside for now and try not to worry about events that may not even occur.
4. Lauren, at 9 months, is pulling herself up on furniture, standing, and cruising around. I'm guessing she will be walking by Christmas! This blows my mind. She just started crawling 3 weeks ago! Turner didn't walk until he was 13 months so naturally, I expected Lauren to do the same. It's funny to watch her because she's so tiny, it doesn't seem right that she's walking herself around. Her hair is growing fast. It's platinum, just like big brother's hair color. She has two little bottom teeth. She smiles constantly and is so quiet. Her demeanor is calm and she's almost always content with whatever she is doing. She can say Bah-Bah (bottle), Bye-bye, and Hi. She has said Mama a few times, but it isn't part of her regular vocabulary. She self-weaned a couple of weeks ago and prefers a bottle. I'm pretty sure I'm the luckiest Mom on Earth right now.
5. Facebook and Blogger has become my only social contact to the outside world. I get texts from friends every once in awhile, but sometimes I feel really isolated. I figured it would happen. After the holidays, maybe I'll try to plan more get-togethers. I miss my friends very much.
6. I started exercising on a regular basis to help with my stress. I had forgotten how good I feel when I work out and eat healthier. I'm hoping to keep it up and not only lose my remaining 10 lbs. of baby weight, but I would enjoy taking my kids to swim this summer without feeling so self-conscious.
7. Tanner and I have discussed having more children. The jury is still out on this one.
8. I think we will get a puppy this Spring. Turner has been wanting one and I really want one too. Not that I miss cleaning up after a pet. After our previous dog passed, it was AWESOME to be rid of all responsibility that comes with owning a dog, but the joy that a pet brings trumps the tasks any day.
9. Hubs has 3 hernias. He is scheduled for surgery on Dec. 6. The surgeon will be putting a mesh lining along his abdominal wall. The surgeon also said that Tanner 'will be so sore that getting up to eat or use the bathroom will be something he will wish he didn't have to do.' Evidently, he's going to be in a lot of pain for a couple of days. Poor Hubs.
10. Along with exercising, I've been reading again. Can't get enough. I've been going through a book every 4 days. I only have time to read at night so there are times I've turned out the light at 1:30 a.m. and regretted it in the morning, but it's worth it. Now, if I can bring myself to stay up on the current events outside of celebrity gossip and football I'll be doing good!
Good night all, and thanks for reading!
Friday, November 11, 2011
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!
I don't usually write posts about the really painful things in this world, but tonight I feel like I have to put this out there. We need to see this. Subject matter like this is always so depressing, but we can't continue to ignore that things like this aren't happening in our communities, schools, homes, churches, etc.
I'm sure you are aware of the sex scandal that has been exposed regarding a former Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky. If not, let me fill you in on some of the details.
A chronological look at the case against former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, based on a grand jury report in Pennsylvania state court. Some key dates in Penn State football history are included. Sandusky has been charged with 40 criminal counts, accusing him of serial sex abuse of minors:
1969
Jerry Sandusky starts his coaching career at Penn State University as a defensive line coach.
1977
Jerry Sandusky founds The Second Mile. It begins as a group foster home dedicated to helping troubled boys and grows to become a charity dedicated to helping children with absent or dysfunctional families.
January 1983
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1982 season.
January 1987
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1986 season.
1994
Boy known as Victim 7 in the report meets Sandusky through The Second Mile program at about the age of 10.
1994-95
Boy known as Victim 6 meets Sandusky at a Second Mile picnic at Spring Creek Park when he is 7 or 8 years old.
1995-96
Boy known as Victim 5, meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is 7 or 8, in second or third grade.
1996-97
Boy known as Victim 4, at the age of 12 or 13, meets Sandusky while he is in his second year participating in The Second Mile program.
1996-98
Victim 5 is taken to the locker rooms and showers at Penn State by Sandusky when he is 8 to 10 years old.
Jan. 1, 1998
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1998 Outback Bowl.
1998
Victim 6 is taken into the locker rooms and showers when he is 11 years old. When Victim 6 is dropped off at home, his hair is wet from showering with Sandusky. His mother reports the incident to the university police, who investigate.
Detective Ronald Schreffler testifies that he and State College Police Department Detective Ralph Ralston, with the consent of the mother of Victim 6, eavesdrop on two conversations the mother of Victim 6 has with Sandusky. Sandusky says he has showered with other boys and Victim 6's mother tries to make Sandusky promise never to shower with a boy again but he will not. At the end of the second conversation, after Sandusky is told he cannot see Victim 6 anymore, Schreffler testifies Sandusky says, "I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won't get it from you. I wish I were dead."
Jerry Lauro, an investigator with the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare, testifies he and Schreffler interviewed Sandusky, and that Sandusky admits showering naked with Victim 6, admits to hugging Victim 6 while in the shower and admits that it was wrong.
The case is closed after then-Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar decides there will be no criminal charge.
June 1999
Sandusky retires from Penn State but still holds emeritus status.
Dec. 28, 1999
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1999 Alamo Bowl.
Summer 2000
Boy known as Victim 3 meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is between seventh and eighth grade.
Fall 2000
A janitor named James Calhoun observes Sandusky in the showers of the Lasch Football Building with a young boy, known as Victim 8, pinned up against the wall, performing oral sex on the boy. He tells other janitorial staff immediately. Fellow Office of Physical Plant employee Ronald Petrosky cleans the showers at Lasch and sees Sandusky and the boy, who he describes as being between the ages of 11 and 13.
Calhoun tells other physical plant employees what he saw, including Jay Witherite, his immediate supervisor. Witherite tells him to whom he should report the incident. Calhoun was a temporary employee and never makes a report. Victim 8's identity is unknown.
March 1, 2002
A Penn State graduate assistant enters the locker room at the Lasch Football Building. In the showers, he sees a naked boy, known as Victim 2, whose age he estimates to be 10 years old, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky. The graduate assistant tells his father immediately.
March 2, 2002
In the morning, the graduate assistant calls coach Joe Paterno and goes to Paterno's home, where he reports what he has seen.
March 3, 2002
Paterno calls Tim Curley, Penn State athletic director to his home the next day and reports a version of what the grad assistant had said.
March 2002
Later in the month the graduate assistant is called to a meeting with Curley and senior vice president for finance and business Gary Schultz. The grad assistant reports what he has seen and Curley and Schultz say they will look into it.
March 27, 2002 (approximate)
The graduate assistant hears from Curley. He is told that Sandusky's locker room keys are taken away and that the incident has been reported to The Second Mile. The graduate assistant is never questioned by university police and no other entity conducts an investigation until the graduate assistant testifies in grand jury in December 2010.
2005-2006
Boy known as Victim 1 says that he meets Sandusky through The Second Mile at age 11 or 12.
Spring 2007
During the 2007 track season, Sandusky begins spending time with Victim 1 weekly, having him stay overnight at his residence in College Township, Pa.
Spring 2008
Termination of contact with Victim 1 occurs when he is a freshman in a Clinton County high school. After the boy's mother calls the school to report sexual assault, Sandusky is barred from the school district attended by Victim 1 from that day forward and the matter is reported to authorities as mandated by law.
Early 2009
An investigation by the Pennsylvania attorney general begins when a Clinton County, Pa., teen boy tells authorities that Sandusky has inappropriately touched him several times over a four-year period.
September 2010
Sandusky retires from day-to-day involvement with The Second Mile, saying he wants to spend more time with family and handle personal matters.
March 2011
Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot-News reports that grand jury is investigating Sandusky on allegations of indecent assault against a teenage boy. The Patriot-News reports that five people with knowledge of the case said the grand jury has been meeting for 18 months and has called witnesses, including Paterno and Curley. Penn State declines comment.
Nov. 5, 2011
Sandusky is arrested and released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned on 40 criminal counts.
For FIFTEEN years, on record, this piece-of-shit Jerry Sandusky has been raping children. Little boys. Foster children. He did it over and over again. Their innocence, stolen.
How many years has this been going on? How many lives has he ruined?
I hope all of his victims come forward and speak out.
I hope Jerry Sandusky spends the rest of his life being tortured in prison. It would only be minor injury to a man that has made the lives of those children, a living hell.
My heart aches.
I, like some of you, was a victim of sexual abuse.
I was first abused at the age of 5 by the son of a family friend. I told a parent and I told the abuser's mother. The son was no longer allowed to have contact with me. A few years ago, I learned that he went on to abuse several other boys and girls. He was never reported.
The second time I was sexually abused, it was by a close family member. I reported the abuse to a parent 6 months after it had started. The parent confronted the abuser whom admitted guilt. As it turns out, I wasn't his first victim. There had been a couple of accusations before me. I received an apology from my abuser and continued to have contact with him. After several months had passed, the abuse started again. I told a parent. It was then decided that the abuser should not have contact with myself or with my siblings. A few months passed and the abuser was allowed to visit with me again. The abuse started again. It continued on and off for several years. I was abused by this man from the time I was 10 years old until I was 14 years old. It finally ended after I decided to tell another family member. Children's Services were contacted and the man was sentenced to probation and counseling. This was before sexual predators had to register, so he is out there somewhere, potentially abusing another child.
I was told to attend two counseling sessions as well.
WHY AREN'T PEOPLE CALLING THE AUTHORITIES ON THESE DOUCHE BAGS?
Why do people think that if they ignore something, that it isn't happening? People are so worried about shaming the family/school/church/team . . . why aren't people worrying more about the children?
I felt shame as a victim. I certainly didn't want my peers to know what had been happening to me. It was a family secret I was happy to keep even though it was killing me.
As an adult, I sought counseling. I knew I needed professional help. I have overcome the abuse, but it still has had an effect on me. I'm scarred. Certain things take me back to that horrible time, but I refuse to let it rule my life. I'm stronger than the abuse.
If you are were a victim, DO NOT BE ASHAMED. It's happened to more people than you think and you aren't alone. Talk to someone, get help. You don't have to suffer in silence.
After seeing all of this Jerry Sandusky bullshit, I've got something to say.
First, here are a few facts from the American Psychological Association that I think we should all be aware of.
My Body Belongs to Me by Jill Starishevsky
I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide of keeping your private parts private. by Kimberly King
Some Parts Are Not For Sharing by Julie K. Frederico
Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman
Those Are MY Private Parts by Diane Hansen
Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts by Gail Saltz
If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you. I know this isn't exactly what a person reads to brighten their day, but if we continue to ignore this topic, we are failing our children. We can't allow more children to fall victim to people like Jerry Sandusky. We need to be proactive. We need to protect our children. They are our future.
If you suspect a child is being abused, please speak out! We are the voices that will be heard.
You have the power to save the life of a child and it is our obligation to do just that.
I'm sure you are aware of the sex scandal that has been exposed regarding a former Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky. If not, let me fill you in on some of the details.
A chronological look at the case against former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, based on a grand jury report in Pennsylvania state court. Some key dates in Penn State football history are included. Sandusky has been charged with 40 criminal counts, accusing him of serial sex abuse of minors:
1969
Jerry Sandusky starts his coaching career at Penn State University as a defensive line coach.
1977
Jerry Sandusky founds The Second Mile. It begins as a group foster home dedicated to helping troubled boys and grows to become a charity dedicated to helping children with absent or dysfunctional families.
January 1983
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1982 season.
January 1987
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1986 season.
1994
Boy known as Victim 7 in the report meets Sandusky through The Second Mile program at about the age of 10.
1994-95
Boy known as Victim 6 meets Sandusky at a Second Mile picnic at Spring Creek Park when he is 7 or 8 years old.
1995-96
Boy known as Victim 5, meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is 7 or 8, in second or third grade.
1996-97
Boy known as Victim 4, at the age of 12 or 13, meets Sandusky while he is in his second year participating in The Second Mile program.
1996-98
Victim 5 is taken to the locker rooms and showers at Penn State by Sandusky when he is 8 to 10 years old.
Jan. 1, 1998
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1998 Outback Bowl.
1998
Victim 6 is taken into the locker rooms and showers when he is 11 years old. When Victim 6 is dropped off at home, his hair is wet from showering with Sandusky. His mother reports the incident to the university police, who investigate.
Detective Ronald Schreffler testifies that he and State College Police Department Detective Ralph Ralston, with the consent of the mother of Victim 6, eavesdrop on two conversations the mother of Victim 6 has with Sandusky. Sandusky says he has showered with other boys and Victim 6's mother tries to make Sandusky promise never to shower with a boy again but he will not. At the end of the second conversation, after Sandusky is told he cannot see Victim 6 anymore, Schreffler testifies Sandusky says, "I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won't get it from you. I wish I were dead."
Jerry Lauro, an investigator with the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare, testifies he and Schreffler interviewed Sandusky, and that Sandusky admits showering naked with Victim 6, admits to hugging Victim 6 while in the shower and admits that it was wrong.
The case is closed after then-Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar decides there will be no criminal charge.
June 1999
Sandusky retires from Penn State but still holds emeritus status.
Dec. 28, 1999
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1999 Alamo Bowl.
Summer 2000
Boy known as Victim 3 meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is between seventh and eighth grade.
Fall 2000
A janitor named James Calhoun observes Sandusky in the showers of the Lasch Football Building with a young boy, known as Victim 8, pinned up against the wall, performing oral sex on the boy. He tells other janitorial staff immediately. Fellow Office of Physical Plant employee Ronald Petrosky cleans the showers at Lasch and sees Sandusky and the boy, who he describes as being between the ages of 11 and 13.
Calhoun tells other physical plant employees what he saw, including Jay Witherite, his immediate supervisor. Witherite tells him to whom he should report the incident. Calhoun was a temporary employee and never makes a report. Victim 8's identity is unknown.
March 1, 2002
A Penn State graduate assistant enters the locker room at the Lasch Football Building. In the showers, he sees a naked boy, known as Victim 2, whose age he estimates to be 10 years old, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky. The graduate assistant tells his father immediately.
March 2, 2002
In the morning, the graduate assistant calls coach Joe Paterno and goes to Paterno's home, where he reports what he has seen.
March 3, 2002
Paterno calls Tim Curley, Penn State athletic director to his home the next day and reports a version of what the grad assistant had said.
March 2002
Later in the month the graduate assistant is called to a meeting with Curley and senior vice president for finance and business Gary Schultz. The grad assistant reports what he has seen and Curley and Schultz say they will look into it.
March 27, 2002 (approximate)
The graduate assistant hears from Curley. He is told that Sandusky's locker room keys are taken away and that the incident has been reported to The Second Mile. The graduate assistant is never questioned by university police and no other entity conducts an investigation until the graduate assistant testifies in grand jury in December 2010.
2005-2006
Boy known as Victim 1 says that he meets Sandusky through The Second Mile at age 11 or 12.
Spring 2007
During the 2007 track season, Sandusky begins spending time with Victim 1 weekly, having him stay overnight at his residence in College Township, Pa.
Spring 2008
Termination of contact with Victim 1 occurs when he is a freshman in a Clinton County high school. After the boy's mother calls the school to report sexual assault, Sandusky is barred from the school district attended by Victim 1 from that day forward and the matter is reported to authorities as mandated by law.
Early 2009
An investigation by the Pennsylvania attorney general begins when a Clinton County, Pa., teen boy tells authorities that Sandusky has inappropriately touched him several times over a four-year period.
September 2010
Sandusky retires from day-to-day involvement with The Second Mile, saying he wants to spend more time with family and handle personal matters.
March 2011
Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot-News reports that grand jury is investigating Sandusky on allegations of indecent assault against a teenage boy. The Patriot-News reports that five people with knowledge of the case said the grand jury has been meeting for 18 months and has called witnesses, including Paterno and Curley. Penn State declines comment.
Nov. 5, 2011
Sandusky is arrested and released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned on 40 criminal counts.
For FIFTEEN years, on record, this piece-of-shit Jerry Sandusky has been raping children. Little boys. Foster children. He did it over and over again. Their innocence, stolen.
How many years has this been going on? How many lives has he ruined?
I hope all of his victims come forward and speak out.
I hope Jerry Sandusky spends the rest of his life being tortured in prison. It would only be minor injury to a man that has made the lives of those children, a living hell.
My heart aches.
I, like some of you, was a victim of sexual abuse.
I was first abused at the age of 5 by the son of a family friend. I told a parent and I told the abuser's mother. The son was no longer allowed to have contact with me. A few years ago, I learned that he went on to abuse several other boys and girls. He was never reported.
The second time I was sexually abused, it was by a close family member. I reported the abuse to a parent 6 months after it had started. The parent confronted the abuser whom admitted guilt. As it turns out, I wasn't his first victim. There had been a couple of accusations before me. I received an apology from my abuser and continued to have contact with him. After several months had passed, the abuse started again. I told a parent. It was then decided that the abuser should not have contact with myself or with my siblings. A few months passed and the abuser was allowed to visit with me again. The abuse started again. It continued on and off for several years. I was abused by this man from the time I was 10 years old until I was 14 years old. It finally ended after I decided to tell another family member. Children's Services were contacted and the man was sentenced to probation and counseling. This was before sexual predators had to register, so he is out there somewhere, potentially abusing another child.
I was told to attend two counseling sessions as well.
WHY AREN'T PEOPLE CALLING THE AUTHORITIES ON THESE DOUCHE BAGS?
Why do people think that if they ignore something, that it isn't happening? People are so worried about shaming the family/school/church/team . . . why aren't people worrying more about the children?
I felt shame as a victim. I certainly didn't want my peers to know what had been happening to me. It was a family secret I was happy to keep even though it was killing me.
As an adult, I sought counseling. I knew I needed professional help. I have overcome the abuse, but it still has had an effect on me. I'm scarred. Certain things take me back to that horrible time, but I refuse to let it rule my life. I'm stronger than the abuse.
If you are were a victim, DO NOT BE ASHAMED. It's happened to more people than you think and you aren't alone. Talk to someone, get help. You don't have to suffer in silence.
After seeing all of this Jerry Sandusky bullshit, I've got something to say.
First, here are a few facts from the American Psychological Association that I think we should all be aware of.
- 90% of sexual perpetrators are known to the child, only 10% of the abusers are strangers.
- 23% of reported cases report the perpetrators as individuals who are under the age of 18.
- Approximately 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused by the the time they are 18.
- Know who our children are spending time with. Get to know other parents, coaches, instructors,etc.
- Take cues from the child. Here are a few ways children react to sexual abuse.
- Increase in nightmares or sleeplessness
- Withdrawn behavior
- Refusal to undress for gym or participate in physical activities.
- Regressive behavior (thumb-sucking, bed wetting, etc.)
- Reluctance to be left alone with a particular person or people.
- Sexual knowledge that is inappropriate for their age.
- If you feel uneasy leaving your child with someone, don't do it.
- TEACH YOUR CHILDREN! Don't depend on teachers to do it for you. YOU need to discuss abuse with your child. If you take anything from this post, PLEASE talk to your child. It could save their life!
- What should you teach them about sexual abuse?
- The difference between 'good secrets' (those that are not kept secret for long) and 'bad secrets' (secrets that must be kept forever.)
- The difference between 'okay' and 'not okay' touches.
- They need to use accurate names for private parts and know how to take care of them themselves so they don't have to rely on adults or older children for help.
- That adults and older children never need help with their own private parts.
- That they can make decisions about their own bodies and say 'no' when they don't want to be touched or touch others. (even refusing to give hugs)
My Body Belongs to Me by Jill Starishevsky
I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide of keeping your private parts private. by Kimberly King
Some Parts Are Not For Sharing by Julie K. Frederico
Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman
Those Are MY Private Parts by Diane Hansen
Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts by Gail Saltz
If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you. I know this isn't exactly what a person reads to brighten their day, but if we continue to ignore this topic, we are failing our children. We can't allow more children to fall victim to people like Jerry Sandusky. We need to be proactive. We need to protect our children. They are our future.
If you suspect a child is being abused, please speak out! We are the voices that will be heard.
You have the power to save the life of a child and it is our obligation to do just that.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Old School
I think a fifties pin-up girl hairstyle and red lipstick are SO hot.
Looking at old photographs of my grandparents at social events, parties, etc. they really had it going on. Photos of them in their late teens, early twenties have me in awe. The hair, the makeup, the dresses with the matching purses and hats, the men in their suits and hats with the greaser hairstyles. . . they looked amazing.
Classy. Wealthy. Sophisticated. Three things that they were not.
My grandparents were raised in the South y'all. They had little education and came from broken homes. Both were high-school dropouts. They smoked non-filter cigarette's, drank continuously, cussed like sailors, and lived on coffee, tea, and fried food their entire lives.
But they were good-looking.
That could get you pretty far back in the day I'm assuming. Maybe not. I'm just guessing.
Good looks can get a guy or girl a few lucky breaks now-a-days, I'd imagine it got you a bit further back then.
Word on the street is that, in their day, my grandparents were a popular couple to be around and that they were excellent dancers.
Dancing.
They would crap themselves if they walked into a dance club these days and saw all the dirty that was going down. All the dry humping and gyrating would make them sick. The hip-hop music would piss them off. All the ass crack and thongs, the open homosexuality, the price of a drink, the non-smoking rules. . . they would believe they had arrived at the gates of Hell.
My grandmother died 7 years ago. She was a breast cancer survivor. Emphysema is what took her body. Stress and anxiety is what killed her. That is what I believe anyway. You will never see stress and anxiety on an autopsy report, but I think it plays a huge role in death. I'm obviously not a doctor, again, just guessing. Did you know she saved my life? Honestly, she did. I've never visited her grave.
My grandfather is dying. Emphysema. My diagnosis? Loneliness. The loneliness is what is killing him.
My grandparents were married 53 years.
Gramps likes to talk about the good old days. Mostly because he doesn't have much of a life to discuss anymore. Sure, he could repeat the news or talk about the weather and he does do his share of that, but listening to him talk about life with my Grandmother. . . it has my attention. Now more than ever.
My Grandfather is over-opinionated and judgemental. He has racist views. He's homophobic. He's not religious. He isn't afraid to tell you how he feels about something. He isn't afraid to tell me how he feels about me, how he loves me. He'll tell me my hair looks horrible and is quick to point out that I've put on or lost too much weight but he follows it up with telling me I'm smart, a good wife, a good mother. I don't take anything he says too personal. He is who he is, like it or not.
I didn't pay much attention to my grandparents. Still don't I guess. I should. My maternal grandfather is the only grandparent I have left. Once he passes, a part of my history will be gone.
With his passing, every one of my family members who were part of the Silent Generation will be gone.
What positive lessons have I learned from my Grandparents? Not sure. I didn't take the time to know them well enough.
I know they loved me.
That's enough.
Now check this out just for fun:
Cute!!
Looking at old photographs of my grandparents at social events, parties, etc. they really had it going on. Photos of them in their late teens, early twenties have me in awe. The hair, the makeup, the dresses with the matching purses and hats, the men in their suits and hats with the greaser hairstyles. . . they looked amazing.
Classy. Wealthy. Sophisticated. Three things that they were not.
My grandparents were raised in the South y'all. They had little education and came from broken homes. Both were high-school dropouts. They smoked non-filter cigarette's, drank continuously, cussed like sailors, and lived on coffee, tea, and fried food their entire lives.
But they were good-looking.
That could get you pretty far back in the day I'm assuming. Maybe not. I'm just guessing.
Good looks can get a guy or girl a few lucky breaks now-a-days, I'd imagine it got you a bit further back then.
Word on the street is that, in their day, my grandparents were a popular couple to be around and that they were excellent dancers.
Dancing.
They would crap themselves if they walked into a dance club these days and saw all the dirty that was going down. All the dry humping and gyrating would make them sick. The hip-hop music would piss them off. All the ass crack and thongs, the open homosexuality, the price of a drink, the non-smoking rules. . . they would believe they had arrived at the gates of Hell.
My grandmother died 7 years ago. She was a breast cancer survivor. Emphysema is what took her body. Stress and anxiety is what killed her. That is what I believe anyway. You will never see stress and anxiety on an autopsy report, but I think it plays a huge role in death. I'm obviously not a doctor, again, just guessing. Did you know she saved my life? Honestly, she did. I've never visited her grave.
My grandfather is dying. Emphysema. My diagnosis? Loneliness. The loneliness is what is killing him.
My grandparents were married 53 years.
Gramps likes to talk about the good old days. Mostly because he doesn't have much of a life to discuss anymore. Sure, he could repeat the news or talk about the weather and he does do his share of that, but listening to him talk about life with my Grandmother. . . it has my attention. Now more than ever.
My Grandfather is over-opinionated and judgemental. He has racist views. He's homophobic. He's not religious. He isn't afraid to tell you how he feels about something. He isn't afraid to tell me how he feels about me, how he loves me. He'll tell me my hair looks horrible and is quick to point out that I've put on or lost too much weight but he follows it up with telling me I'm smart, a good wife, a good mother. I don't take anything he says too personal. He is who he is, like it or not.
I didn't pay much attention to my grandparents. Still don't I guess. I should. My maternal grandfather is the only grandparent I have left. Once he passes, a part of my history will be gone.
With his passing, every one of my family members who were part of the Silent Generation will be gone.
What positive lessons have I learned from my Grandparents? Not sure. I didn't take the time to know them well enough.
I know they loved me.
That's enough.
Now check this out just for fun:
Cute!!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Fake It Until You Make It
How do you deal with the stress in your life?
Do you eat / starve / get drunk / sleep / panic / cut / fuck / cry / lash out / shop / quit / or isolate?
Whatever you do; you are still here. Still functioning. Still coping. Still hoping. Still living.
Life.
It can really kick our ass sometimes.
We are constantly tested on our ability to survive the stresses of life. Some people figure out a system and thrive while others fall into the downward spiral of non-functionality.
I'd like to think that I fall into the middle somewhere. I've thrived. I've fallen. But I've always picked myself up and kept moving forward.
So here's the scoop. I'm kind of trying to be that coach/teacher/peer in high school that pulls you to the side and tells you that you are too good to be hanging with the crowd you've been hanging with. That you are too smart/attractive/talented and you can do better.
I'm here to tell you that there are better ways to deal with stress than what we we've been doing and it's less complicated than we think. You don't have to be miserable. You deserve better.
Now, this post could really go on and on about stress management so I'm going to keep it short and practical.
Rule 1: Put yourself first! You aren't going to be able to meet your potential as a Parent / Employee / Spouse / Friend until you have yourself put together. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT! This is also the most difficult step of stress management for most of us.
The 3 main takes you need to do to help you feel less stressed:
- GET YOUR SLEEP! I know this is difficult; especially for those of you that work an off-shift, but you need to make it a priority. Just like you set an alarm to get up for work, you need to set an alarm to shut things down. For example, at 9:00 p.m. the television, computer, lights, etc. should be turned off and you should be moving toward the bedroom. Another helpful tip, don't bring technology into the bedroom. That text from your friend, a Tweet, and the Facebook update can wait. I'm just guessing, but your sex life might improve as well!
- EAT BETTER! I'm not saying do a complete diet overhaul . . . even though it may be needed (me! me!) but swap out the Little Debbie's for fruit or yogurt. A banana, chocolate milk, and fruit bar will have you feeling a lot better than that donut (or whatever your comfort food of choice may be) for breakfast. All I'm saying is swap out the cupcake/cookie/chips for an apple every once in awhile, then often, and before you know it, you'll be eating healthier without feeling deprived of the good stuff. Food really does have a HUGE impact on how we feel emotionally. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Last
- AVOID DEBBIE DOWNER. You know who she is. The person that is always venting, always complaining, always bringing you down. You don't need someone like that hanging around. We've got enough problems of our own, we don't need to hear about every little gripe in someones day. Find an excuse, any reason, or just tell them straight up that you need a break from their problems. Either way, when you see them coming, run in the opposite direction! Don't worry, they will find another sucker willing to listen and empathize about how 'horrible' their PERFECTLY NORMAL lives are.
So how are we going to put ourselves first to reduce stress?
We're going to allow ourselves to get the sleep we need by establishing a bedtime.
We're going to eat less crap and more of the good stuff.
We're going to surround ourselves with more positive people.
I encourage you to try these things. I think you'll find that even though life is always going to have difficulties, we can better prepare ourselves by taking time to take care of ourselves.
It starts with you, friend.
Homework: Watch a funny movie.
The movies Bridesmaids, Stepbrothers, The Proposal, Grandma's Boy, Meet the Focker's, The Jerk, Old School, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Wedding Singer, Date Night or There's Something About Mary have always made me laugh. I would bet a few bills that you would enjoy at least one of them.
"May you always have walls for the winds, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you, and all your heart might desire." -Irish Blessing
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Birth Order - The Eldest Child
I must admit to you, ever since Lauren has been born, I feel like I have been neglecting Turner. I constantly feel guilty because I used to spend time playing with him and having lots of one on one time. I'm guessing I only give him 90 minutes of my undivided attention per day. Lauren takes a morning nap, and that is when I drop everything and play with Turner.
Turner has been my sun. We scheduled our evenings around him. I have spoiled him and loved every minute of it. The addition of a baby has been tough on all of us. He constantly asks me to play with him and I have to constantly tell him 'later honey' or 'in a minute'. He is always hearing, 'you need to wait' or 'please be patient.' I know it is difficult for him and he's done EXTREMELY well.
Sure he acts out at times. I mean, he's 3. I don't expect him to grow up overnight just because he has a sibling, but the truth is, he has grown up since Lauren has arrived. I'm not sure if it's because he's almost four or because he's become more mature because of the life change. I'm guessing both.
While I have been focused on Lauren's constant care and dependency, Turner now prefers Tanner to do things with him. By 10:00 each morning, Turner wants to know when Daddy will be home. Dad plays with Turner while I'm nursing/changing/holding the baby. Dad takes care of Turner's bath while I put Lauren to bed. Dad puts Turner to bed while I ready things for the next day. It's just the way it works. I'm thinking now that Lauren is a bit older and is becoming less needy, we should start trading responsibility with Turner. I want to get close to him again. I want him to know that I think he's as important to me as his little sister is.
I've tried having Mother/Son dates with him and it's fun, but a person can't make up for a month's worth of time in just a couple of hours. I tell Turner all of the time that I love him, that he is special, and that he is a good boy. We have enrolled him in swim classes so he has his own little thing going on and I make sure to attend every session. It feels good to have him look up into the bleachers for us and smile when he sees us watching.
I'm trying to be the best mom I can be to both of my children.
Being the eldest child, I know what it is like to be given more responsibility than the others just because I was the oldest. I was always told I was mature for my age and I feel like I was. I feel a bit cheated of my childhood but on the same token, I am glad I was taught about life at a young age. I want to make sure that Turner enjoys his childhood and doesn't get short-changed.
Did you know that birth order is believed to have a huge effect on psychological development?
Always optimistic, I did a bit of research on 'Eldest Child Syndrome'. Here are a few cool theories:
I am bossy
I can be very self-focused at times
I have trouble admitting when I'm wrong
I'm attention seeking and
I'm stubborn
I feel the need to be in control almost always
Famous Firstborns:
Reese Witherspoon
Brad Pitt
Sylvester Stallone
Steve Jobs
Beyonce Knowles
Demi Moore
All theories aside, I believe that as long as I remain aware of my time with my children and make a strong effort to take part in each of their lives, I will raise successful kids. Children that know that they are loved unconditionally by their Mother.
My Hypothetical Mission Statement: I will listen to my children and do my best to meet their individual needs while maintaining ethical and moral standards true to our beliefs.
Now, what to do for my next date with that dashingly handsome boy of mine? I'll spend a few moments with him tomorrow tossing around ideas; possibly over our favorite breakfast, cinnamon french toast. That will be a cool start to our day. I hope day tomorrow is good as well!
Thanks for reading!
Turner has been my sun. We scheduled our evenings around him. I have spoiled him and loved every minute of it. The addition of a baby has been tough on all of us. He constantly asks me to play with him and I have to constantly tell him 'later honey' or 'in a minute'. He is always hearing, 'you need to wait' or 'please be patient.' I know it is difficult for him and he's done EXTREMELY well.
Sure he acts out at times. I mean, he's 3. I don't expect him to grow up overnight just because he has a sibling, but the truth is, he has grown up since Lauren has arrived. I'm not sure if it's because he's almost four or because he's become more mature because of the life change. I'm guessing both.
While I have been focused on Lauren's constant care and dependency, Turner now prefers Tanner to do things with him. By 10:00 each morning, Turner wants to know when Daddy will be home. Dad plays with Turner while I'm nursing/changing/holding the baby. Dad takes care of Turner's bath while I put Lauren to bed. Dad puts Turner to bed while I ready things for the next day. It's just the way it works. I'm thinking now that Lauren is a bit older and is becoming less needy, we should start trading responsibility with Turner. I want to get close to him again. I want him to know that I think he's as important to me as his little sister is.
I've tried having Mother/Son dates with him and it's fun, but a person can't make up for a month's worth of time in just a couple of hours. I tell Turner all of the time that I love him, that he is special, and that he is a good boy. We have enrolled him in swim classes so he has his own little thing going on and I make sure to attend every session. It feels good to have him look up into the bleachers for us and smile when he sees us watching.
I'm trying to be the best mom I can be to both of my children.
Being the eldest child, I know what it is like to be given more responsibility than the others just because I was the oldest. I was always told I was mature for my age and I feel like I was. I feel a bit cheated of my childhood but on the same token, I am glad I was taught about life at a young age. I want to make sure that Turner enjoys his childhood and doesn't get short-changed.
Did you know that birth order is believed to have a huge effect on psychological development?
Always optimistic, I did a bit of research on 'Eldest Child Syndrome'. Here are a few cool theories:
- Older siblings consolidate and organize their knowledge to act as a tutor to younger siblings, thus creating a leadership role.
- Some studies find that both the older and younger siblings tend to describe the firstborn as more disciplined, responsible, and high-achieving.
- Firstborns are often treated as mini-adults by their parents, thus given more responsibility.
- Oldest children are usually the 'good' children of the family that follow the rules and and set the examples.
- The oldest child often strives to protect, help, and please others.
- Firstborns are more motivated to achieve high-standards.
- Firstborns usually have higher confidence than their siblings.
I am bossy
I can be very self-focused at times
I have trouble admitting when I'm wrong
I'm attention seeking and
I'm stubborn
I feel the need to be in control almost always
Famous Firstborns:
Reese Witherspoon
Brad Pitt
Sylvester Stallone
Steve Jobs
Beyonce Knowles
Demi Moore
All theories aside, I believe that as long as I remain aware of my time with my children and make a strong effort to take part in each of their lives, I will raise successful kids. Children that know that they are loved unconditionally by their Mother.
My Hypothetical Mission Statement: I will listen to my children and do my best to meet their individual needs while maintaining ethical and moral standards true to our beliefs.
Now, what to do for my next date with that dashingly handsome boy of mine? I'll spend a few moments with him tomorrow tossing around ideas; possibly over our favorite breakfast, cinnamon french toast. That will be a cool start to our day. I hope day tomorrow is good as well!
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Finding Me
It seems like all I do is updates on here anymore. I really need to get back to writing something meaningful. I need to add a bit of heart and soul. I am constantly pausing throughout my days and say to myself, 'I should write about that on my blog' but it never makes it here. My life is a never-ending buzz of busy. Someday I will probably look back on these days and miss them so badly it will bring tears to my eyes.
So what's new?
I'll start with our home since it's the easiest item on the list. We still need gutters, shutters, electric ran into the new garage, a garage door, and our chimney's painted. Oh, and our deck built. The deck will most likely be a Spring project since we are running out of nice days at a rapid pace. We've written so many checks this summer it makes my head spin and my chest tightens when I look at our finances. I have to keep telling myself that this is all a wonderful investment. I love all of the updates and changes. I've wanted this for so long and now that it is happening I feel contentment but I also feel a little anxious that all of our pennies we put back and have now 'invested', will take 20 years to put back into our account. Vicious cycle. Save and spend.
Onto what's new with Turner. As most of you know, Turner is in daycare/preschool. His classmates all moved onto the next room a week or so ago. Turner, one other little girl, and a little boy were kept back. He has asked me when he gets to go to Miss Abby's class with his friends and why he has to play with the little kids. (the newly 3 year olds have been added to his class) I explained to him that he is not 4 years old yet and all of the other kids are. I told him that after he turns 4 he will get to go to the next room. I'm not sure when he might be able to transition since he is not 'up to speed' with the rest of the 4 year olds. I am hopeful that it will be sooner than later. On the same token, I wouldn't want him put into a class that he is not developmentally prepared for. I trust that his teacher knows what is best and he is where he should be at this time. He is growing up so fast. He asks alot of questions and takes me by surprise with what he knows and picks up on. He is the love of my life, that little handsome man! I enjoy looking at him when he plays and when he's deep in thought or when he sleeps. The innocence of a child. I can't hug him or kiss him enough these days!
Lauren has a tooth! When I go to get her from her crib in the morning, she is always on all fours rocking back and forth. She will be crawling soon. She's still holding the 'Best Baby Ever' title. She's always smiling and has a very quiet and sweet demeanor. Man oh man do I love that girl of mine!
Tanner is working a lot, but he manages to work in play as well. I admire him. I am envious of his control of emotion and calmness. I know he is overwhelmed with our life right now but he is a strong man. He has a lot of heart. He's not a quitter. He's the best partner in life. I love him more and more each day.
Well, this blog post isn't anywhere near what I intended to write about. Hopefully soon I won't be boring you with generic details of my life. I'll actually have something that gets you thinking. Something you can feel.
Have a good night and thanks for hanging in there.
So what's new?
I'll start with our home since it's the easiest item on the list. We still need gutters, shutters, electric ran into the new garage, a garage door, and our chimney's painted. Oh, and our deck built. The deck will most likely be a Spring project since we are running out of nice days at a rapid pace. We've written so many checks this summer it makes my head spin and my chest tightens when I look at our finances. I have to keep telling myself that this is all a wonderful investment. I love all of the updates and changes. I've wanted this for so long and now that it is happening I feel contentment but I also feel a little anxious that all of our pennies we put back and have now 'invested', will take 20 years to put back into our account. Vicious cycle. Save and spend.
Onto what's new with Turner. As most of you know, Turner is in daycare/preschool. His classmates all moved onto the next room a week or so ago. Turner, one other little girl, and a little boy were kept back. He has asked me when he gets to go to Miss Abby's class with his friends and why he has to play with the little kids. (the newly 3 year olds have been added to his class) I explained to him that he is not 4 years old yet and all of the other kids are. I told him that after he turns 4 he will get to go to the next room. I'm not sure when he might be able to transition since he is not 'up to speed' with the rest of the 4 year olds. I am hopeful that it will be sooner than later. On the same token, I wouldn't want him put into a class that he is not developmentally prepared for. I trust that his teacher knows what is best and he is where he should be at this time. He is growing up so fast. He asks alot of questions and takes me by surprise with what he knows and picks up on. He is the love of my life, that little handsome man! I enjoy looking at him when he plays and when he's deep in thought or when he sleeps. The innocence of a child. I can't hug him or kiss him enough these days!
Lauren has a tooth! When I go to get her from her crib in the morning, she is always on all fours rocking back and forth. She will be crawling soon. She's still holding the 'Best Baby Ever' title. She's always smiling and has a very quiet and sweet demeanor. Man oh man do I love that girl of mine!
Tanner is working a lot, but he manages to work in play as well. I admire him. I am envious of his control of emotion and calmness. I know he is overwhelmed with our life right now but he is a strong man. He has a lot of heart. He's not a quitter. He's the best partner in life. I love him more and more each day.
Well, this blog post isn't anywhere near what I intended to write about. Hopefully soon I won't be boring you with generic details of my life. I'll actually have something that gets you thinking. Something you can feel.
Have a good night and thanks for hanging in there.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Doublicious
Here's a sign that I should not have been at KFC in the first place!
DriveThru Guy: Welcome to KFC, words words words
Me: I would like a Grilled Chicken Breast Sandwich
DriveThru Guy: I'm sorry Ma'am, we don't have grilled chicken breast, but you can order our Doublicious sandwich.
Me: What is a Doublicious sandwich?
DriveThru Guy: A tender chicken filet sandwich.
Me: Ok. I'll have a Doublicious sandwich with mayo only.
DriveThru Guy: I'm sorry Ma'am, we don't have mayo, only Colonal sauce.
Me: What is Colonal sauce?
DriveThru Guy: Tangy mayo.
Me: Whatever, that's fine.
Fast forward to me opening my sandwich only to find a fried chicken sandwich on a roll topped with colonal sauce, mozzeralla cheese and bacon!
Did I eat it anyway?
Hell yes I did. Num Num Num
DriveThru Guy: Welcome to KFC, words words words
Me: I would like a Grilled Chicken Breast Sandwich
DriveThru Guy: I'm sorry Ma'am, we don't have grilled chicken breast, but you can order our Doublicious sandwich.
Me: What is a Doublicious sandwich?
DriveThru Guy: A tender chicken filet sandwich.
Me: Ok. I'll have a Doublicious sandwich with mayo only.
DriveThru Guy: I'm sorry Ma'am, we don't have mayo, only Colonal sauce.
Me: What is Colonal sauce?
DriveThru Guy: Tangy mayo.
Me: Whatever, that's fine.
Fast forward to me opening my sandwich only to find a fried chicken sandwich on a roll topped with colonal sauce, mozzeralla cheese and bacon!
Did I eat it anyway?
Hell yes I did. Num Num Num
Monday, August 29, 2011
Time IS NOT on my side
Man, you would think since I've got this stay-at-home mom gig, I would have all kinds of blog time and whatnot.
WRONG.
Hubs and I made the MUTUAL decision that I will not go back to work/school until our kids are in school.* 'Mutual' being very important since the last big decision I made (quitting my job) caused a little turmoil on the home front.
Anywho, like any new job it's exciting and I'm learning so many things. I love being with the kids even though I thought I would be insane by now. I know them better. Sounds strange, but until recently I was only around my kids on the weekend a few hours in the evening. I think the caregivers in their classes at the daycare knew them better than I did. It's been eye-opening. I'm more tolerant of them and I appreciate them so much more. I have more patience. I'm more relaxed. I laugh more. I'm constantly busy, but I'm busy doing things that used to feel like chores. Now laundry, errands, phone calls, etc. are all part of my daily routine and the kicker is I don't mind them at all.
The house is coming along quite well. If you would like to check out the progress of the construction, you can always stop over to The Steinbauer Homestead blog. I try to update it frequently. Now that the outside of our home is all shiny and new, we are feeling the pressure to finish up the projects we've got going on indoors. It's nice to see our home finally come together. EIGHT YEARS IN THE MAKING FOLKS! If I had any advice to a young couple wanting to buy a fixer-upper I would say go for it. However, make the renovations before you move in. Tanner and I had so many ideas for our home when we bought it, but after years have passed we have gotten so accustomed to seeing things a certain way, our visions have faded. I find myself bringing in friends and family and asking for their ideas often, just for a fresh perspective. It would have been much easier to have been able to attack everything all at one time and the make subtle updates if we found it necessary. One last piece of advice? Double what you think the renovations will cost. Seriously. Do you know how much simple window treatments cost these days? Holy Mother that shit is expensive! And don't leave out the rods and hardware, gotta have that stuff to hang the drapes. It's insane what simple household items cost. No wonder my Grandmother filled her home with stuff from the Dollar General store. Social Security isn't exactly supporting a Crate and Barrel shopping list.
I haven't been reading much lately but I am really looking forward the the chill of Autumn, sipping warm cider, wearing fleece everything, and curling up with a good book. I have a 'to-read' list that continues to grow. I was shopping the other day and in the fall display at the front of the store they were melting a pumpkin tart. The scent has had me longing for fall ever since. Hubs and I also love football. We can't wait for the seasons to officially begin. Maybe we'll get to take in a game at the stadium again this year. That would be nice.
Know what else is nice? Date night. Friday night Hubs and I will be doing our best to be trendy and fun and carefree. We'll be out and about for a bit and then back home to our comfy clothes, responsibilities, and our babies. I'm really looking forward to all of it.
We finally watched the VMA's tonight. Lady Gaga certainly keeps things interesting. Love her! I'm happy that Beyonce is preggo but am I the only one that was totally weirded out by the whole belly rub display at the end of her performance? I just realized I accepted Gaga's transgender alter-ego but was quick to criticize Beyonce for outing her pregnancy on stage. . . I might have underlying issues.
Good news of the week: Turner's surgery went well. He did great going into the operating room and kind of freaked out after his surgery. Understandable. The kid goes to sleep feeling good and being held by his Dad only to wake up with pain in a room full of strangers. Not good. They had to sedate him to calm him down. Twice. The surgery took 45 minutes but we were at the hospital for 3 extra hours because his recovery took so long. At least the sedation allowed him to rest. At the last minute, Turner's surgeon decided to only operate on the top and bottom muscles of each eye. The original plan was to operate on top, bottom, right, and left muscles of each eye. The doc didn't think it was necessary after giving him a quick eye test before his surgery. Turner didn't seem to have much pain, but his eyes watered constantly for about 4 days. More of an irritation to him than anything.
Bad news of the week: Lauren is showing signs of having Strabismus as well. Her left eye is starting to turn in more and more. We'll keep watching it and see what can be done. It definitely doesn't seem as severe as Turner's so we are hoping maybe she'll be able to get by with patching or glasses and avoid surgery. We know that if a child has strabismus, there is a 60% chance of a sibling having it as well. We knew this before Lauren was born and hoped for the best. Hopefully, with early detection and treatment, it won't be an issue for her as she gets older. Tanner and I count our blessings. Our children are both happy and healthy kids. We couldn't ask for more than that.
My mom is getting married this weekend. My sister and I took her dress shopping. It was actually fun. I say it that way because it could have been really awkward but we made the most of it. My mom is really happy. I am happy to say that she has met a really great guy and I wish them the best.
We have a nephew due in October and another niece or nephew due in February. Nothing like babies having babies to make you feel old. Kidding. The babies having babies are our younger siblings. Siblings that never seem to age in our eyes, yet we've watched them mature into adults with each passing year. Our parents are going to have 3 grand kids all under the age of 5. I hope they are taking their multi-vitamins and doing their stretches; their asses are about to be taken over by our little heathens.
Well, I've got more to say but I really should be getting some shut eye. Good night everyone and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!
*or I go crazy, hence proving to be an unfit parent.
WRONG.
Hubs and I made the MUTUAL decision that I will not go back to work/school until our kids are in school.* 'Mutual' being very important since the last big decision I made (quitting my job) caused a little turmoil on the home front.
Anywho, like any new job it's exciting and I'm learning so many things. I love being with the kids even though I thought I would be insane by now. I know them better. Sounds strange, but until recently I was only around my kids on the weekend a few hours in the evening. I think the caregivers in their classes at the daycare knew them better than I did. It's been eye-opening. I'm more tolerant of them and I appreciate them so much more. I have more patience. I'm more relaxed. I laugh more. I'm constantly busy, but I'm busy doing things that used to feel like chores. Now laundry, errands, phone calls, etc. are all part of my daily routine and the kicker is I don't mind them at all.
The house is coming along quite well. If you would like to check out the progress of the construction, you can always stop over to The Steinbauer Homestead blog. I try to update it frequently. Now that the outside of our home is all shiny and new, we are feeling the pressure to finish up the projects we've got going on indoors. It's nice to see our home finally come together. EIGHT YEARS IN THE MAKING FOLKS! If I had any advice to a young couple wanting to buy a fixer-upper I would say go for it. However, make the renovations before you move in. Tanner and I had so many ideas for our home when we bought it, but after years have passed we have gotten so accustomed to seeing things a certain way, our visions have faded. I find myself bringing in friends and family and asking for their ideas often, just for a fresh perspective. It would have been much easier to have been able to attack everything all at one time and the make subtle updates if we found it necessary. One last piece of advice? Double what you think the renovations will cost. Seriously. Do you know how much simple window treatments cost these days? Holy Mother that shit is expensive! And don't leave out the rods and hardware, gotta have that stuff to hang the drapes. It's insane what simple household items cost. No wonder my Grandmother filled her home with stuff from the Dollar General store. Social Security isn't exactly supporting a Crate and Barrel shopping list.
I haven't been reading much lately but I am really looking forward the the chill of Autumn, sipping warm cider, wearing fleece everything, and curling up with a good book. I have a 'to-read' list that continues to grow. I was shopping the other day and in the fall display at the front of the store they were melting a pumpkin tart. The scent has had me longing for fall ever since. Hubs and I also love football. We can't wait for the seasons to officially begin. Maybe we'll get to take in a game at the stadium again this year. That would be nice.
Know what else is nice? Date night. Friday night Hubs and I will be doing our best to be trendy and fun and carefree. We'll be out and about for a bit and then back home to our comfy clothes, responsibilities, and our babies. I'm really looking forward to all of it.
We finally watched the VMA's tonight. Lady Gaga certainly keeps things interesting. Love her! I'm happy that Beyonce is preggo but am I the only one that was totally weirded out by the whole belly rub display at the end of her performance? I just realized I accepted Gaga's transgender alter-ego but was quick to criticize Beyonce for outing her pregnancy on stage. . . I might have underlying issues.
Good news of the week: Turner's surgery went well. He did great going into the operating room and kind of freaked out after his surgery. Understandable. The kid goes to sleep feeling good and being held by his Dad only to wake up with pain in a room full of strangers. Not good. They had to sedate him to calm him down. Twice. The surgery took 45 minutes but we were at the hospital for 3 extra hours because his recovery took so long. At least the sedation allowed him to rest. At the last minute, Turner's surgeon decided to only operate on the top and bottom muscles of each eye. The original plan was to operate on top, bottom, right, and left muscles of each eye. The doc didn't think it was necessary after giving him a quick eye test before his surgery. Turner didn't seem to have much pain, but his eyes watered constantly for about 4 days. More of an irritation to him than anything.
Bad news of the week: Lauren is showing signs of having Strabismus as well. Her left eye is starting to turn in more and more. We'll keep watching it and see what can be done. It definitely doesn't seem as severe as Turner's so we are hoping maybe she'll be able to get by with patching or glasses and avoid surgery. We know that if a child has strabismus, there is a 60% chance of a sibling having it as well. We knew this before Lauren was born and hoped for the best. Hopefully, with early detection and treatment, it won't be an issue for her as she gets older. Tanner and I count our blessings. Our children are both happy and healthy kids. We couldn't ask for more than that.
My mom is getting married this weekend. My sister and I took her dress shopping. It was actually fun. I say it that way because it could have been really awkward but we made the most of it. My mom is really happy. I am happy to say that she has met a really great guy and I wish them the best.
We have a nephew due in October and another niece or nephew due in February. Nothing like babies having babies to make you feel old. Kidding. The babies having babies are our younger siblings. Siblings that never seem to age in our eyes, yet we've watched them mature into adults with each passing year. Our parents are going to have 3 grand kids all under the age of 5. I hope they are taking their multi-vitamins and doing their stretches; their asses are about to be taken over by our little heathens.
Well, I've got more to say but I really should be getting some shut eye. Good night everyone and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!
*or I go crazy, hence proving to be an unfit parent.
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