It seems like Spring has alot of people opening windows to let the fresh air in and tackling their spring cleaning. It's also got alot of people opening their minds and motivating them to blog on some great topics. I've been reading alot of really good blog postings lately. It's motivating, but I feel pressure to say something important and meaningful at the same time.
Over at Jakezilla there's a post about people feeling bad about complimenting themselves out loud, yet not hesitating to rip themselves apart when they get the chance. I hear it from my friends all of the time and I'm guilty of the same thing. It's like I try to beat people to the punch. If you read all of comments left on her blog, it's amazing how much we can all relate to this. If I got anything out of reading her post it's that I'm going to set a goal for myself to keep my mouth shut when it comes to putting myself down. At work, at home, etc. I especially make negative comments about myself when I'm given a compliment. I need to work on that. Speaking of compliments, don't hesitate to give them out. It really makes my day when I get one. I'll try to be more vocal when it comes to complimenting you. I'm always thinking about how much I like your hair, the way you think on your feet, your nurturing personality, etc. I won't expect a compliment back I promise. It's not a rule like saying "you're welcome" when someone says "thank you." There's nothing more awkward than me standing there watching you squirm and try to think of something to nice say in return. Don't do it. Just take the compliment seriously and don't retract with a statement putting yourself down. Agreed? Good.
Next topic . . .
At Klinebauer Korner I was reading about how her Mom made her feel fat and I can relate to that too. My mom never stressed getting a good education so I could get into college. She stressed that fat women look terrible and gross. Her opinions on overweight women has changed over the years. We get older and wiser . . . and less active and heavier so of course our opinions change. We learn to accept people. But that doesn't mean she hesitates to comment that I've put on weight. Yes, I'm aware. Thank you. I have to be completely honest though . . . if my Mom never pressured me stay in shape I'd probably be overweight and blogging about how she let me be fat my entire life and that she didn't care enough about me to say anything. This post was a good reminder to feed my kid healthy food and make sure he gets daily exercise. I'm not going to deprive him of chocolate, ice cream, etc. I'm just not going to let him indulge in it. I promise to provide him with tasty snacks and limit his TV/Computer time. More importantly, I promise to not make him feel insecure about his body no matter what. Kids deal with enough pressure about how they should look, dress, etc. They shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in their own home.
I'll end this post by thanking everyone that takes time to write about their experiences and feelings. Thank you to those that comment about it. I am learning through you and what you say does make a difference.
3 comments:
So I guess you saw that my mom did a pretty good number on me too. I mentioned it on Haley's blog. I have HUGE issues, but I'm so tired of drawing attention to my flaws and chronically complaining about them when there are some parts of me that I would love to be all like "but take a look at this!!"
And I like that you are going to try to dole out more compliments. It's important. We don't hear them enough in real life.
Compliments are good. I'm setting a goal for myself to give more compliments to people. It makes them feel good and I feel good when I see them smile.
I agree that kids have enough to worry about that beating them up over their weight makes for even lower self esteem. My parents didn't make me feel bad about being pudgy (and I was only 115 lbs in high school), I got enough of that from the kids at school, and I obsessed about getting skinnier so I fit in. Good thing I got over that! Lol.
You are already doing a great job with Turner, providing him with HEALTHY snacks. Mom didn't push fruits and vegetables on us because she didn't like them...therefore, we didn't have that aquired taste until later in life...I didn't try asparagas until I was 25!!! Come on now! And the whole negativity after a compliment? I think someone a long time ago did that to look humble and it caught on. Now it just makes the girl look like they are not confident with themselves. you can do it. And you are beautiful, kind, and loving, and a great mom!
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