Crime Scene

As you know, me and the fam have been staying at my Mom's since Saturday. Mom went to Florida to visit my sister which made it the perfect time to have our hardwood floors refinished. Her house is being occupied and we don't have to live in a hotel for 4 days to keep Turner away from the chemicals and off of the floors. Win/Win situation.


On Saturday I needed to take Turner with me for my round of errands and to buy groceries. The kid couldn't have been better so I treated him by taking him to the pet store. He loved looking at all of the animals and seemed most interested in the fish. I thought about buying one for him (for like 3 seconds) then quickly came to my senses and went back to my Mom's. He took a nap and I read in my book and enjoyed a delicious Mocha Frappuchino from the local Starbuck's (heaven) and it was wonderful. I find so many things to do at home that when Turner typically naps I'm running around like a madwoman doing laundry, cleaning floors, etc. At my Mom's, I didn't have the large to-do list and it was awesome. Plus, she has wi-fi and since I don't have a laptop I wasn't able to get online. It was pretty sweet actually!

Anyway, nap is over and Turner has recharged his battery. Since my mom lives in a condo, there isn't a very large yard area and Turner doesn't like to stay on the sidewalks. (We tried taking him on a tricycle ride and he constantly tried to break away and run into traffic.) I remembered there is a little elementary school nearby and thought the playground would be perfect. A little exercise is just what I needed and Turner had the obvious urge to do some wind-sprints. We pulled up and there wasn't anyone there. Perfect! Typically, the bigger kids push him to the side and the little kids always want to be in the same place. on the same spot. at the same time. Personal space has not been established with kids Turner's age. Anywho, we're rebels and climb UP the slide instead of going down and when we got to the top there is a creepy guy approaching us. I call him creepy guy because he hadn't shaved in atleast 3 days and had a patchy hillbilly beard, scrunched down tube socks, white tennis shoes with green on the toes (evidently push-mowing shoes?), a gray (used to be black t-shirt) that said AC/DC or Winger or Whitesnake or something else 80's, leather, and permed.

The conversation:

Creepy guy: Uh yeah, I uh, had surgery on my back and I usually walk along the woods over there . . .
Me: (inner thoughts) Dude, I really don't care about your back surgery and please don't stand here and tell me about it because your wife left and your kids are with their mom and her new boyfriend this weekend and you don't have anyone else to talk to. I'm playing with my kid here, but won't hesitate to make up an excuse to grab him and speedwalk to the car making you feel like a total douchebag. Where's my cell phone? Oh shit, at the house. I'm screwed. (sizing him up) But, he is pretty small so unless he had a gun I felt like I could give him a run for his money. Nothing a swift kick in the pants wouldn't take care of. Thank goodness I opted for my running shoes versus flip flops when I dressed that morning!
Creepy guy continues: and I wondered if you've seen anyone over there (pointing to a tree line) this morning cause there is a lady's purse dumped out all over the place.
Me: No, I haven't seen anyone.
Creepy guy: Whelp, I'm gonna pick the stuff up but I wanted you to be a witness that I'm not trying to take anything.
Me: (inner thoughts) Sooooo, you want me to supervise you picking up someone else's belongings? What? This is weird. Where is it at again?
Creepy guy: At the edge of the woods over there.

I see some trash and decide to walk over and carry Turner. He must have sensed that I was 3 seconds from 'fight or flight' mode and stayed back at the play area. As I'm walking toward the trash toward the woods I have a flash of one of his dirty buddies jumping out of the woods and grabbing me and Turner. I mean, this guy totally showed up from nowhere.

I approached the pile of stuff and see a driver's license, about 15 syringes, credit cards, a hair brush, tissues, a red wallet, hmmm, what else? A brown glass bottle with an old prescription label on it . . . (who knew that all those stupid memorization games I was forced to play at baby showers would eventually come in handy!)

Either way, I had two instant thoughts. 1.) Call the cops. Now! Wait, no phone. Damn! 2.) This is so cool. I'm at a real life crime scene just like off of The First 48!

I told Creepy guy that he needs to call the cops. Obviously, something bad has happened since the belongings of her purse were dumped into a trail leading to the woods. Then, I thought, oh shit, what if there is a dead body in there! Again, I'm internally freaking, but keeping calm on the outside so Turner doesn't panic. I said, "I wouldn't touch anything if I were you. My phone is in the car and I can call."

As I walked away, I saw him take his phone out of his pocket. First thought, he's calling his partner in crime and telling him "now! let's get her!" Second thought, he's calling the cops.

I lingered by my car and he approached me again.

Creepy guy: I called the cops and they are on their way. I live across the street in that house and I'm having him meet me there.
Me: Ok, thanks.

15 minutes later a cop arrives in the driveway of Creepy guy's house. They start walking over the to purse and I see Creepy guy point to me. The cop approached me and asked me if I'd seen anyone, blah blah blah. Still at my car I watched the cop and Creepy guy and the cop stand over the lady's stuff. The cop put on the blue latex gloves and started looking through the items.

At this point, I knew it was going to take forever before he called it in to the station. Whether or not there was a body, I wasn't sticking around that long. I checked the local paper on Monday for a story but I didn't see anything and I've been too busy to check the last couple of days. Maybe it was just a case of a stolen purse. Either way, it added a little excitement to my weekend.