Today, I received my friendly blood drive appointment reminder via email, postcard, and phone call. I have anxiety issues when I donate blood. I do it to help people and to face my fear of needles. I know it sounds silly, but I feel a sense of accomplishment after I've given blood because a few years ago I would have dropped at the sight of a blood bag.
I have few rules for the Phlebotomist:
Rule 1: I can't see the needle. Ever. I look away over my shoulder until I swear my neck is going to snap. I seriously stare at the person behind me. Lucky them.
Rule 2: Don't snap the tourniquet. I'll puke and pass out. Just having them tie it on and rub my vein with a cotton swab makes me break out into a cold sweat. This is how I know I would NEVER be able to be an intravenous drug user.
Rule 3: I don't care when the needle is going in. Don't tell me when or how or where. Just put it in correctly. The first time, preferably.
Rule 4: If the needle needs adjusted, please don't let me see you do it. Put my arm under yours (like you're carrying a newspaper) and adjust the needle while you distract me with interesting conversation. And don't get all defensive when I start fighting you. That's so unprofessional.
Please note: I always give a good Phlebotomist tons of praise and thank you's and compliments. I know I am probably their worst nightmare and I'm guessing they have my face burned into their memory. They probably group together and draw straws when they see me walk in.
Why is a blood bus so dirty and skanky? Why don't they put covers over the headrests in those things. I hate how everything is vinyl so it wipes clean, but the head rest still manages to stain. So gross.
I wish they tracked your blood bag so you knew where it went and how it was used. That would be nice. I wouldn't need all of the details, just a reminder that I've helped someone. I'd be more likely to donate outside of my 2x per year if they did. Then again, they would probably send out something generic like the cards I get from kids of The United Way. The first time I got one of the thank-you cards, I totally believed it was a real drawing specifically for me . . . until I saw it hanging in my neighbor's cube and his neighbor's cube and the local gas station. Then I felt like the United Way was selling lies. Then I felt like an ass. I still donate, but I am angry about the thank-you cards. Decietful bastards.
Wish me luck at the blood drive tomorrow. Last time, my iron was too low because I was on my p-e-r-i-o-d. I was actually pretty pumped about it because I didn't have to go through the trauma of a donation. I'll have to remember to wear short sleeves because they wrap your arm with tons of gauze and I feel like a soldier walking through the office. I'm a 'giver' they say as I walk past. VP's shake my hand and pat my back. It's awesome.
Ok, so the last 3.5 sentences are lies. Sue me.
3 comments:
I've never voluntarily given blood. I'm O+, VERY common. I know, I know, just because I have common blood doesn't mean there can't be a shortage. I figure I give plenty of blood for about a week every month to Mother Nature. Selfish? You betcha, but it's gonna take a lot more than cookies and juice to change my mind!
I love the last 3.5 sentences. Too funny.
I don't give blood either. It makes me nauseous when they poke me with their damn fingers because they NEVER find my vain after I've already told them repeatedly you won't find my damn vain - just do it in my hand already!! I've gone through it enough to know what's inevitably going to happen and it's no cup of tea. I know I'm a horrible person for not giving blood. I'm also not an organ donor. I'm surely going to hell.
I gave blood once and passed out and no one realized I passed out because it was so loud in there. They give you that little bar to hold and if you drop it they revive you but no one heard my bar drop!
I never went back, I was so sick and traumatized
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