Thoughts on Parenting

Sometimes I look at all of the pics my Facebook friends post of their children and I realize that their kids are pre-teens and I wonder why it took me so long to decide to have a child of my own. Then I remember that I enjoyed a decade of finding myself, being selfish, and Hubs and I had way too much irresponsible adult fun to throw a kid in the mix.

Where was my blog then? Those are the years I should have been putting in print and saving. Good times.

Why do I sometimes feel like the good ol' days have ended? It's because, like most of you, I've gotten caught up in the Parenting trap.

You know what I'm talking about Willis. The pressure from other parents, teachers, media, peers, the janitor, thewholewideworld, etc. to be the best parent EV-ER and make it look easy while wearing your make up and be sure to your body doesn't show any signs of ever carrying a child . . .(sigh) and smile because being a Mommy is the most super duper wonderful job a gal could ask for every hour on every single day of the year.

We need to stop this.

(Placing left hand on a stack of How To Be the Best Parent in the Universe books and holding up my right hand)

I, Jen.

Solemnly swear.

To stop being self-conscious about being the best wife, mother, worker, friend, consumer, chef, and housekeeper.

From this day forward.

Or may I be cursed with deflated balloons as breasts, skinny, hanging butt-cheeks, and my hands be liver-spotted at an early age.

Here's my take lunch break bulleted list on parenting and the things I've had to have a little self-talk about:

• Asking for advice on parenting is one thing, beating yourself up because you didn't follow all of the tips and tricks is another. We aren't going to be perfect. We make mistakes and that's ok. As long as your child's well-being is in your best interest, you're doing great. We are new at this and we know alot more these days on how to keep our child safe. Trust your instincts.
• Don't feel guilty for taking time to yourself. Your child/husband/wife/pets probably need a break from you too. We are dedicating our lives to being there for our kids. A day or two away isn't going to traumatize anyone. Don't stop living because you have added the title of 'Mom' or 'Dad' to your name.
• There will be moments you just have to wing it and hope for the best. Nuff said.
• Be confident in your decisions. So Mary Saint Goodymom chooses to go green by using cloth diapers and Perfect Paulasmom has her kid on an all natural organic diet and signing words in Spanish. So what! I chose to use disposable diapers on my son, I allow him to carry a blankie and crawl into our bed sometimes at night. It doesn't make me a 'rule-breaker'. It's my way and it works for my family. Now if he's 13 and still trying these things, then we'll have an issue.
• Don't get caught up in the competition. Who got back into tip-top shape the quickest? Who breastfed the most? Who has the cutest baby? Who's kid is doing what at what age? Forget it. You'll never be able to keep up. Your child will find his own way and do it at his own pace as will you. I know it's almost impossible to not feel the pressure, but try not to let it doubt yourself or your child. You're doing great.
• Treat your kids, treat yourself. Having cookies and ice cream and other treats in your home is okay. I trust that your family isn't sitting together eating boxes and cartons and bags of sweets at a time. And don't feel like you have to stash the goodies when company comes over because of the fear of being judged. They've got them in their cupboards too. Plus, I don't think that any of us have any problem keeping our little ones active.
• Take time for your husband/wife/significant other.
• Take some time to play with or listen to your child giving them uninterrupted attention. You will most likely enjoy it more than they do.
• Try to have dinner together as a family at least once a week.

Down from my soap box I climb . . .

I don't have all of the answers but I'm finding my way and I'm choosing to feel a little bit better about my parenting skills because, at the end of the day, I have a little guy that loves me. I ensure that he is safe, that he is cared for, and that he knows he's loved. That's the best that any Mom or Dad can do.