Lets be honest 3 - 10

Number 3. I think baths are gross. Taking a bath is just sitting in your own dirty with your pubes floating around and urine/fecal chips dissolving into the water. Don't forget that your deodorant remnants and vag discharge is in there too. There isn't a salt or bubble bath that smells good enough to change my mind about this.

4. In high school I shoplifted lip gloss and Blistex all of the time. I think I went like 2 years without paying for it. The most expensive item I had ever shoplifted was a coat. After I turned 18 I got paranoid about getting caught and haven't gotten sticky fingers since.

5. I think I'm going to die of cancer. My paternal grandparents both died of cancer when they were in their seventies. My mom's ma died of cancer a couple of years ago and so have 3 of her sisters. They were all in their sixties. My uncle has cancer. My sister is a cancer survivor. It's been brought to my attention from my OBGYN that I'm have a high risk of developing ovarian cancer. It seems like someone I care about is always fighting this disease. I'm doing my best to prevent it, but it doesn't discriminate for sure.

6. I've flashed my boobies. I was at a concert in my late teens and the gals flashing their jubblies had yucky jubblies. Mine were better so I showed a couple of rows. I'm embarrassed about it now, but I'd be more embarrassed if I did it today with my pancake boobs. I'm still trying to put some fat on these things but it goes to my waist instead. They have improved in the last couple of months, but I still frown when I see them in the mirror. Maybe I'll invest in a new set when I decide to start my midlife crisis.

7. I wish my family were closer. Not in distance, but emotionally. We're working on it, but it hasn't been easy. With divorce and resentment it takes a long time for people to heal. My grandma was the glue in our family and since she passed away it hasn't been the same. It was her dying wish for me not to speak to my father ever again. She saved me from him. That takes me to number 8.

8. I haven't seen/spoken to my dad since October 2003. He is a pedophile. He has been fortunate enough to have never spent an hour in jail. Once, he was court ordered to attend counseling and was put on probation for a few years, but that's about it. His reported incidents date far enough back that he's never had to register as a sex offender. He is the reason I had a difficult time believing in God when I was younger. This stuff is too deep to put on an honesty list. I've deleted it a million times but decided to leave it here because it's part of me, but it was a long time ago. For my family members that read this, I'm not trying to humiliate you or bring up something we've tried to bury. I know who reads my blog; I've invited them here. They are family too and I feel like I can speak freely amongst friends. What's number 9?

9. I have a therapist. After reading 8 I'm sure you aren't surprised. I haven't seen her in over 5 years which tells me that I'm doing pretty good. I battled with depression and started having anxiety issues after high school. She saved my life.

10. Surprisingly enough, I'm an optimist. I voice my opinions on here alot and have done my fair share of griping, but if you know me in person you know that I'm usually in a good mood. I laugh alot and I smile alot. I enjoy people and I like pretty much everything. I try to find the good in most things and hopefully it will add years to my existence. It's difficult for me to resist giving people hugs. I'm a hugger. Not a long, lingering, rock from side to side hugger though. Those types of hugs make me squirm.

So there it is. It's all on the table. Some of it is pretty heavy, but this is about being honest and opening up. All of you have been nice enough to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with me and I owe you some raw facts of my life. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there! It helps a gal feel normal most days.