Thirteen Days

Warning: After reviewing this blog, I realize that it is all over the place. I don't have the time or patience today to review/fix/update it. It is how it is and I hope you can make sense of all of the jibber jabber. For those that know me personally, it isn't much different than talking with me in person. I can't keep up with my thoughts lately. Here are my rants . . .

It's been 13 days since I've posted anything. It seems like it's been longer than that. Not that I haven't had a list of things to blog about and lots of things floating around in my noggin . . . I just needed a time out I think. Even though I try to keep everyone updated with what is happening in my life, some things are bigger than words and take time to process. Some good, some bad, some ugly. My last 13 days have been overwhelming. I've reunited with ALOT of people from my past. It's been (fill in the blank). I laughed much, drank too much wine, and even puked a couple of times. I am so thankful for good friends. Dependable, out-of-the-blue, we haven't talked in almost a year, I live over 4 hours away, but I'm coming to see you tomorrow friends. I'm also hoping to receive a Christmas card from my local winery with some discounts attached. I think I've single-handedly paid their property taxes this year. Speaking of . . .I'm tempted to add how many weeks/days to Christmas, but none of us need that kind of stress while we're enjoying our summer. Although I did google it . . . phew! still PLENTY of time. I'm not worried.

I've eaten and drank so much chocolate, I shiver with sickness when I see it. I'm sure this won't last long, but it's got my addiction on pause for now. Outside of my lively outings with friends, I've had my nose shoved in books.So much that I'm starting to forget a television or computer exists in my house. It's a nice change. I'm reading a pretty good book right now if you haven't noticed it floating on the top right side of my blog. It's about a 30 year old single gal who is diagnosed with cancer which forces her to take a break from her busy self-absorbed life and reminisce about the past loves of her life and what went wrong. I was hooked from the first page. It's really good, I recommend it.

Do you reminisce about past loves of your life? We are glad/sad that things happened the way that they did because we've learned more about ourselves through the experience. Do any of you have anyone that you've kept in your back pocket in case your current relationship falls through? A guy you keep stringing along until the a-hole you're dating cheats again, or relapses just ONE more time. I had one of those in high school. The guy that was cool enough to take me on dates just so I could make my ex-boyfriend jealous. Then I would take my piece of crap ex back and leave him with hurt feelings. That guy should hate me, but I ran into him recently and I can tell by the way he looked at me that he still cared. I felt like I was finally confronted with what a heartless bitch I was for treating him badly and it made me happy to see that he has a super cute / super nice wife and they have a little family of their own. Life worked out better for him when I wasn’t around. AND he had the satisfaction of knowing I spent years with a total jackass. Serves me right I guess, but when you don't have "those" feelings for someone, you don't have them and I didn’t have “those” feelings. I’m glad his wife had the romancey pantsey feelings for him. Everyone deserves love. Which takes me to my next topic . . .

I've got a friend I met up with a week or so ago and she's totally been broken down into a passive/submissive unhappy woman because of her shitty controlling husband. They have children so she could only be out for an hour and had to be home. (I’m sure it would be the curfew even if she didn’t have kids, just a different excuse) She was missing teeth. Not fronts, sides, but still! She no longer wears jewelry or make-up. Maybe her husband thinks she may attract another man if she does? That’s my guess. Or those are things she can’t afford anymore because she’s supporting her family. I didn’t ask. I was just happy to see her even though she looked empty and sad. I wish her husband would leave her because I think that’s the only way she would move on. I know that sounds so mean, but she doesn’t have any fight left in her. It breaks my heart to think about it. It didn’t take long until we revived her though, and we had her laughing and talking about our wild and rebellious days. I didn’t realize how much I missed her laugh until I heard it again. It’s the laugh a person hears down a hallway and you start laughing too because it sounds so funny. That laugh. Not everyone has a laugh that can light up a room. It makes me want to work down the hall from her so I can count on it to make me smile every day. I wish she would leave him!