Moment of Weakness

I am having the worst morning ever.

This morning my son fought me in every way possible.

He didn't want to get out of bed this morning so I told him I would put things in the car and come back. So I did. I went back into his room and told him that it was time to get up and go to school. Keep in mind, I don't like to raise my voice with my son. I don't find it effective in any way and it seems to only add to the chaos. So speaking nicely, I ask him again to get out of bed so I can get him ready. He refused so I picked him up out of bed and he started kicking and screaming.

I then, put him on the changing area and proceeded to remove his pajamas. He started screaming that he wanted to wear his pajamas to school. Again, in a calm voice, I told him that he isn't allowed to wear his pajamas to daycare and he needs to get dressed. He starts kicking and flailing his arms through the entire diaper change and clothing change. I would fasten a side of his diaper and he would unfasten it. I put on his socks and before I could grab his shoes, he already pulled one off. He held his arms against his sides when I tried putting his shirt on all the while thrashing around crying and screaming. Then, I did what I never thought I would do. I swatted his bottom.

I spanked my son today and I am feeling awful about it.

He allowed me to finish dressing him and we proceeded downstairs to get his morning OJ for the drive to daycare. I poured his orange juice in his cup and he grabbed it and threw it and said he didn't want it. So, I picked it up and asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted apple juice, so I poured him a cup of apple juice and he started pounding it on his table crying and yelling that he wanted it in a different cup. At this point, I told him he can either have the orange juice or the apple juice in the cups they are in or he doesn't get any juice. He threw himself into a tantrum so I took the cups of juice, put them into the refrigerator, and told him, 'no juice'. He pulled the refrigerator open. I shut it. Then I picked him up to go to the car. He was kicking and screaming the entire way.

We reach the car and he fights me as I try to put him into his car seat. He starts throwing his hips forward so I couldn't fasten the safety harness and is twisting around so I can't put his arms through it either. I had to hold his hips down with my arm so I can get things buckled and I had to push his arms into the proper place so I can attach the chest clip of the carseat.

He screamed the entire 25 minute drive to daycare. He screamed for his pajamas. I told him in a nice voice that he isn't allowed to wear his pajamas to school. He screamed for his juice. I told him that he had his choice of juice and he didn't want either of them, so they were put back into the refrigerator. He screamed because he didn't want strapped into his car seat. He didn't want his shoes on. He didn't want his blankie. On and on and on . . . it was awful.

This is not the first time Turner has behaved like this and I am at a loss at what to do. He has behaved like this with Tanner and I and he has behaved like this when it is just Tanner. When I talk to others about it, they don't really know what to say. I'm thinking about taking a positive parenting class or something to try to figure out how to make things better.

I feel like I am responsible for his behavior because we typically allow Turner to do what he wants as long as he isn't hurting himself, hurting others, or destroying things. Maybe I've been to lax? I realize he is in the middle of the terrible two phase, but I feel like he is getting way out of control and he ignores us when we ask him to behave.

How do I take control back from my son? I have a job that requires me to be on time. I wish I time for all of the time-outs and time to allow him to calm down, but the reality is that I don't. I want to do things the right way, but I just don't know how or what the correct process is.

If I figure it out, I'll let you know.