I am Woman . . . hear me rant!

I'm beginning to feel like I've been misled my entire life. By family, friends, society, etc.

The strongly believed in the message that's been playing in my ear since birth. That a woman of my time can really have it all.

Here's my challenge to this . . .

Young women across America have had barriers demolished by our predecessors that burned their bras and protested for equal rights. We can attend college, get our degrees, and land the career we've always wanted. This is an awesome, awesome thing but here's the catch. When we decide to marry and/or have children we are still expected to keep the house tidy, cook nutritious dinners, satisfy our husbands, and set a good example by living a healthy lifestyle . . . while maintaining our careers.

I have to ask because I haven't figured it out yet . . . how the HELL do we manage to do all of this? If you have a secret, please share. I can find a million helpful tips on how to better manage time but who has mastered it all?

I'm taking this post to a most personal level. Yeah, so the pending arrival of Baby #2 has me freaking out a little bit. Ok, freaking out ALOT. Hubs has been given alot more responsibility at work and has been working long hours and sometimes he's working 7 days a week. I'll admit, the paychecks are nice; however, my perks of being able to share household and family responsibilities are slowly fading. As Hubs workload continues to grow, he isn't always going to be able share daycare pick ups, dinner, bathtimes, or bedtime. How am I going to do it all?

I was raised by a working mother and she didn't seem happy. She worked in a factory and always told us to do better for ourselves. Or our mother's raised us in their early 20's, went back to school while we were in school, and pursued a career later in life. Our grandmothers didn't work and they felt suppressed and under-appreciated and told us to do better for ourselves. So how do we put on our Superhero capes and manage to grow our careers and be at home to raise our children?

Mom? Grandma? Anyone?

They don't have an answer for us because they didn't have the pressure that we do to make it all happen and do it well. They focused on work or they focused on home and left it up to us to find the balance.

Upon talking with friends who have the 'I do it all' image, I realize that it is extremely challenging for them.

1. Pursuing a higher education and landing their ideal job was wonderful . . . .until children. Most of the time, these women don't have a choice but to continue to work full-time because they are the bread winners for the family and can't afford to go part-time or stay at home. They almost curse their MBA's because their career has added more pressure to 'having it all'.

2. Most of us are waiting until our thirties to have kids. We have the house, the car, and all of life's other little accessories that came in our Barbie dreamhouses before starting our families. We were told this is the right way to do it. Enjoy life, work hard to get the things you want before you decide to have children. Sound familiar? So now that a child has entered our lives, why does everything but our job responsibilities have to change? Because, unfortunately for us, we have financial debts and obligations and social lives and pressure that our mother's did not. 

3. The guilt, oh the guilt! Women carry a huge guilt for not spending enough time with our kids, not providing a proper meal, not having a spotless house, not losing the baby weight, etc. Why don't men feel this way? Why haven't they been pressured into domesticating as much as we have been pressured into taking on all roles?

Unless a woman is comfortable putting their child in daycare 11 hours a day or can afford the luxury of a nanny or stay-at-home Husband, a chef, and a housekeeper, it is impossible to be successful at everything. Something is going to suffer whether it is work, home, family, or self.

The bottom line is that there isn't a perfect way to accomplish everything we want and we need to step back and evaluate what is most important. So we are back to square one. What do we do now?

Personally, I am not the stay-at-home type. It makes me feel good to contribute to our finances. Going to work gives me confidence, I enjoy the adult interaction, and I enjoy tasks that don't have to involve meal planning or family schedules. On the other hand, my priorities are changing. Expecting my second child, I feel that my time at home needs to increase. I want to enjoy my children while they are young. I want to be able to prepare a nice meal and have a more organized home. Raising my own children is important to me. That being said, I know I must continue growing and challenging myself too. Opting out of the workforce wouldn't be good for me.

Final Ruling: I've decided to pursue a more flexible work schedule and see how it goes. That's it. Simple as that.

I'm taking the pressure off of myself and going with what I feel is best for me at this point in my life. I have 34 years left in the workforce.

34 years!

I don't have to decide today what I want to be when I grow up. Despite judgment I may get from others, I feel good about my decision. Right now, I'm concentrating on what is best for me and my family and hope that it all works out.