Don't Leave Me!

Homesickness.

Separation Anxiety.

Whatever term you want to use, my son's got it.

I thought we had already overcome this hurdle a year ago, but it's back.

Turner has been getting very upset when we drop him off with the Grandparents. No one in particular, all of them.

He cries and asks us not to go. He says he wants to go with us and he begs us not to leave him. He clings to legs and the tears fall. Sincere, heartbreaking tears.

The days leading up to an overnight stay, Tanner and I let him know who he'll be staying with and he genuinely is really excited. The day arrives, he helps us pack his bags, and off we go. Everything is great until drop off. Then, he changes his mind and wants to go home.

We know that Turner is treated very well by all of his Grandparents and they all make an extra effort to ensure he has things to keep him entertained. They give him plenty of attention and focus and they pretty much let him take over their homes when he is there. They spoil him very much.

Last night my Mom was supposed to keep Turner overnight. She called me after a few hours and let me know that Turner wanted to come home; he didn't want to stay with her at her house. First, I'm THRILLED that my Mom didn't choose to ignore his request and she respected his wishes and called us. I love that she put him first and didn't think selfishly because I know she was really looking forward to his overnight stay. Second, this type of situation is the reason why Tanner and I waited to allow Turner to stay overnight with anyone. We waited until he was old enough to communicate with us. We want him to tell us if he feels comfortable/uncomfortable. We want him to know that we are listening to him and if he prefers to be home instead of staying overnight, it's ok. He has been having overnight stays with the Grandparents for about a year or so and we've never had any issues, until now.

Last night, Tanner and I picked Turner up and brought him home. He was so relieved to see us when we arrived and I felt terrible for my Mom. I told her not to take it personally, that Turner has acted the same way with the other Grandparents recently, but I couldn't help but feel for her. I know she must have felt somewhat rejected. We know Grandpa has felt the same way because he asks Turner if he would like to stay with him and Turner says no. As you can imagine, this causes a bit of tension.

Tanner and I have mixed emotions about it. We would like to have an evening alone all the while knowing that Turner is having fun staying with our parents. We want Turner to have quality one-on-one time with our parents. On the same note, we don't want to force Turner to be somewhere he doesn't want to be. However, we as parents, need a night out every once in awhile. We don't want to have to cancel our date night because Turner doesn't want to go to Grandma or Grandpa's.

I've done some reading online and it seems that alot of times this happens when a child is stressed about a change. I'm guessing this is a phase Turner is going through because of the expected arrival of the baby. He's going to cling a little bit more to Tanner and I, and that's ok. I'm just wondering how long this will last. Having a sibling is going to be life-changing for him and I hope it doesn't turn into an uphill battle for Tanner and I. I've read about children regressing and acting out and all sorts of things. I am aware that having Lauren could turn into alot of work for Tanner and I in many ways. Having two children is going to be life-changing for us too. There is going to be alot of adjustment for all of us very soon.

Wish us luck and if any of you have any advice or comments, please share!