Spontanuity: Good Instinct or Epic Fail?

Changes.

Yeah, I'm makin' em. You?

I don't know what has gotten into me lately but I've grown balls. Okay. Not literally. You know what I mean. I've been feeling brave, a little rowdy . . .less Mom and more Jenny-I-used-to-be.

I like it.

A lot.

I just hope it doesn't bite me in the tits later.

Impulse move of the week: I quit my job. No two weeks notice and no good-bye's. Just 'I am leaving and I'm not coming back' notice. No consulting with Hubs, no sleep-on-it tactic. I was sitting at my desk at 10:00 p.m. stressing, worrying, and in tears about my job when a part of me rose up and said, 'Fuck It.' Seriously, those are the exact words that popped in my head. No rationalization, just an overwhelming feeling to pack my stuff and go. And I went with it.

No looking back.

Fourteen years with a company that I loved. Fifteen minutes to gather my belongings and leave it all behind.

My thoughts on the way home was that Hubs was going to kick my ass. Not literally. He totally knows I would poison his food or turn psycho or spend the rest of my days making the rest of his days a LIVING HELL. Anyway, I knew he was going to be pissed. And he was. And it lasted a day or so. Now we've talked about it and we are putting a game plan together.

Lesson learned: Consult Hubs before making life-altering decisions, even if I know it won't change my mind. RESPECT the UNION of MARRIAGE.

So, now I'm home with the kidders. I am going to continue to take Turner to daycare three days a week. You're probably thinking, 'What kind of SAHM takes her kid to daycare?!!??'

The Me kind.
And I'll tell you why:

I can't develop the social skills and life skills he needs like the daycare can. Not with an infant to care for and a house to tend to and meals that need made and laundry that needs done and and and (insert more excuses here). But really, the bottom line is, he enjoys having friends to play with and it's good for him to get a break from his Mama every once in awhile. It's good for Mama to get a break from Turner too. Plus, they teach him all kinds of great stuff that I don't even think about. For example: Name Recognition, Sharing, Team Activities, Crafts, Peer Interaction, etc.

Moment of Truth: The daycare, Babycenter.com, and my friends have taught me (for the most part) how to take care of my kid. I'm not ashamed of it either. I figure the professionals and veterans know what works. I would be lost without them. I'm trying to utilize my resources and hoping for the best. That's all that us cool, good-looking, and smart Mom's out there can do, Am-mah right Girl?

Now whaddya say we trick our kids into an early bedtime so we can watch our naughty shows and have conversations using swear words! Are you with me? C'mon, all the good parents are doing it.

Am I looking for another job? Yeah. Why not? I like to work. I like meeting new people. I like having a life outside of my home. I enjoy contributing to our household income. It makes me all shiny and happy inside to feel liked and needed.

I'm really looking forward to what lies ahead and I'm REALLY enjoying not knowing what my future holds.

Stay tuned next week when I reflect, self-assess, and have a paranoid freak-out because I've convinced myself that my selfish decisions have ruined the lives of my family.