With all of the changes Tanner and I have experienced over the last 6 - 7 months, it's been easy for us to be distracted . . . disconnected if you will.
We have only gone out twice since Lauren was born in February and one of those times was a wedding that we were both in. Tonight was the third time in 6 months we went to dinner without the kids. I'm not bragging or complaining, just stating the facts.
Please don't think that we don't have offers for sitters, because we do. It's more complicated than just having someone watch your kids for a couple of hours. Maybe I make it too complicated on them or I've made it too complicated for Tanner and I. You see, our children have schedules. Feedings, nap times, bath times, bedtimes, etc. are typically done at the same times every day. We are particular about keeping them on their schedule for a couple of reasons. The main reason being that it makes life easier. Easier on the kids because they know what to expect and their bodies stay in rhythm and easier on us because we don't have two children melting down because they are hungry, tired, and overall out of sync.
Turner's schedule @ 3 years old:
7 a.m. - Rise and Shine!
8:30 a.m. - Breakfast
10:00 a.m. - Morning snack
11:30 a.m. - Lunch
12:30 - 3:00 - Nap
3:30 - Snack
5:30 - Dinner
7 p.m. - Snack
8 p.m. - Bath
8:30 - Bedtime
Lauren's schedule @ 6 months old:
7 a.m. - Rise and Shine!
8 a.m. - Morning feeding
9 a.m. - Cereal
10 a.m. - Nap
11 a.m. - Feeding
12 p.m. - Cereal
1:30 - Nap
3 p.m. - Feeding
5:30 p.m. - Cereal
6 p.m. - Nap
7 p.m. - Bath
7:30 p.m. - Feeding / Bedtime
*Note that play times and activities fill in all the time in between!
As you can imagine, in between meals, laying the kids down for naps, play times, dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, mowing the yard, bath times, and bedtimes; Tanner and I don't have much time together.
All of us sit together at the dinner table every night and have dinner together as a family. This is very important to Tanner and I. It helps us bond with our kids over a home-cooked meal. However, it's very hard to have a conversation in between feeding Lauren and listening to Turner. Plus, we have to watch what we discuss and say in front of Turner. Adult conversation must be saved for those few moments when the kids are distracted or we are alone. Not easy.
Tonight we were able to spend a couple of hours with each other and reconnect. We got dressed up, dropped off the kids, and went to a restaurant for dinner. We were able to talk to each other without being interrupted, we were able to eat our meals while they were still warm, we were able to take our time eating, and most important we were able to spend quality time together.
The things we used to take for granted before having kids! Scheesh!
I'm not complaining about having the kids around us all of the time. It is what we choose. As time sneaks up on us, it won't be long until we are sitting in a quiet house wishing our kids were home. Plus, Tanner and I truly enjoy being around Turner and Lauren. They are both so much fun. On the same token, it's very important to not let the daily rat race of life distract you from your partner.
At the end of the day, it is your best friend that you need the most.
So far 2011 has been extremely hectic for us. Pregnancy, new baby, job changes, house repairs, car repairs, Turner's upcoming surgery, the list goes on and on.
I guess the point I'm trying to make with this post is that no matter what obstacles/challenges/changes you experience in life, if you have someone that is always there for you things will never be too tough to overcome.
Nurture your relationships.
I love you
For not only what you are, but for what I am when I am with you
I love you
For not only what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me
I love you
For the part of me that you bring out
I love you
For putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all of the foolish, weak things that you can't help dimly seeing there
And for drawing out into the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else had looked quite far enough to find
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life, not a tavern, but a temple out of the works of my every day; not a reproach but a song
I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good
And more than any fate could have done to make me happy
You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign
You have done it by being yourself
Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all
- Roy Croft
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