THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!

I don't usually write posts about the really painful things in this world, but tonight I feel like I have to put this out there. We need to see this. Subject matter like this is always so depressing, but we can't continue to ignore that things like this aren't happening in our communities, schools, homes, churches, etc.

I'm sure you are aware of the sex scandal that has been exposed regarding a former Penn State football coach, Jerry Sandusky. If not, let me fill you in on some of the details.

A chronological look at the case against former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, based on a grand jury report in Pennsylvania state court. Some key dates in Penn State football history are included. Sandusky has been charged with 40 criminal counts, accusing him of serial sex abuse of minors:


1969
Jerry Sandusky starts his coaching career at Penn State University as a defensive line coach.


1977
Jerry Sandusky founds The Second Mile. It begins as a group foster home dedicated to helping troubled boys and grows to become a charity dedicated to helping children with absent or dysfunctional families.


January 1983
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1982 season.


January 1987
Associated Press voters select Penn State as college football's national champion for the 1986 season.


1994
Boy known as Victim 7 in the report meets Sandusky through The Second Mile program at about the age of 10.


1994-95
Boy known as Victim 6 meets Sandusky at a Second Mile picnic at Spring Creek Park when he is 7 or 8 years old.


1995-96
Boy known as Victim 5, meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is 7 or 8, in second or third grade.


1996-97
Boy known as Victim 4, at the age of 12 or 13, meets Sandusky while he is in his second year participating in The Second Mile program.


1996-98
Victim 5 is taken to the locker rooms and showers at Penn State by Sandusky when he is 8 to 10 years old.


Jan. 1, 1998
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1998 Outback Bowl.


1998
Victim 6 is taken into the locker rooms and showers when he is 11 years old. When Victim 6 is dropped off at home, his hair is wet from showering with Sandusky. His mother reports the incident to the university police, who investigate.


Detective Ronald Schreffler testifies that he and State College Police Department Detective Ralph Ralston, with the consent of the mother of Victim 6, eavesdrop on two conversations the mother of Victim 6 has with Sandusky. Sandusky says he has showered with other boys and Victim 6's mother tries to make Sandusky promise never to shower with a boy again but he will not. At the end of the second conversation, after Sandusky is told he cannot see Victim 6 anymore, Schreffler testifies Sandusky says, "I understand. I was wrong. I wish I could get forgiveness. I know I won't get it from you. I wish I were dead."


Jerry Lauro, an investigator with the Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare, testifies he and Schreffler interviewed Sandusky, and that Sandusky admits showering naked with Victim 6, admits to hugging Victim 6 while in the shower and admits that it was wrong.


The case is closed after then-Centre County District Attorney Ray Gricar decides there will be no criminal charge.


June 1999
Sandusky retires from Penn State but still holds emeritus status.


Dec. 28, 1999
Victim 4 is listed, along with Sandusky's wife, as a member of Sandusky's family party for the 1999 Alamo Bowl.


Summer 2000
Boy known as Victim 3 meets Sandusky through The Second Mile when he is between seventh and eighth grade.


Fall 2000
A janitor named James Calhoun observes Sandusky in the showers of the Lasch Football Building with a young boy, known as Victim 8, pinned up against the wall, performing oral sex on the boy. He tells other janitorial staff immediately. Fellow Office of Physical Plant employee Ronald Petrosky cleans the showers at Lasch and sees Sandusky and the boy, who he describes as being between the ages of 11 and 13.


Calhoun tells other physical plant employees what he saw, including Jay Witherite, his immediate supervisor. Witherite tells him to whom he should report the incident. Calhoun was a temporary employee and never makes a report. Victim 8's identity is unknown.


March 1, 2002
A Penn State graduate assistant enters the locker room at the Lasch Football Building. In the showers, he sees a naked boy, known as Victim 2, whose age he estimates to be 10 years old, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky. The graduate assistant tells his father immediately.


March 2, 2002
In the morning, the graduate assistant calls coach Joe Paterno and goes to Paterno's home, where he reports what he has seen.


March 3, 2002
Paterno calls Tim Curley, Penn State athletic director to his home the next day and reports a version of what the grad assistant had said.


March 2002
Later in the month the graduate assistant is called to a meeting with Curley and senior vice president for finance and business Gary Schultz. The grad assistant reports what he has seen and Curley and Schultz say they will look into it.




March 27, 2002 (approximate)
The graduate assistant hears from Curley. He is told that Sandusky's locker room keys are taken away and that the incident has been reported to The Second Mile. The graduate assistant is never questioned by university police and no other entity conducts an investigation until the graduate assistant testifies in grand jury in December 2010.


2005-2006
Boy known as Victim 1 says that he meets Sandusky through The Second Mile at age 11 or 12.


Spring 2007
During the 2007 track season, Sandusky begins spending time with Victim 1 weekly, having him stay overnight at his residence in College Township, Pa.


Spring 2008
Termination of contact with Victim 1 occurs when he is a freshman in a Clinton County high school. After the boy's mother calls the school to report sexual assault, Sandusky is barred from the school district attended by Victim 1 from that day forward and the matter is reported to authorities as mandated by law.


Early 2009
An investigation by the Pennsylvania attorney general begins when a Clinton County, Pa., teen boy tells authorities that Sandusky has inappropriately touched him several times over a four-year period.


September 2010
Sandusky retires from day-to-day involvement with The Second Mile, saying he wants to spend more time with family and handle personal matters.


March 2011
Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot-News reports that grand jury is investigating Sandusky on allegations of indecent assault against a teenage boy. The Patriot-News reports that five people with knowledge of the case said the grand jury has been meeting for 18 months and has called witnesses, including Paterno and Curley. Penn State declines comment.


Nov. 5, 2011
Sandusky is arrested and released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned on 40 criminal counts.


For FIFTEEN years, on record, this piece-of-shit Jerry Sandusky has been raping children. Little boys. Foster children. He did it over and over again. Their innocence, stolen.
How many years has this been going on? How many lives has he ruined?

I hope all of his victims come forward and speak out.

I hope Jerry Sandusky spends the rest of his life being tortured in prison. It would only be minor injury to a man that has made the lives of those children, a living hell.

My heart aches.

I, like some of you, was a victim of sexual abuse.

I was first abused at the age of 5 by the son of a family friend. I told a parent and I told the abuser's mother. The son was no longer allowed to have contact with me. A few years ago, I learned that he went on to abuse several other boys and girls. He was never reported.

The second time I was sexually abused, it was by a close family member. I reported the abuse to a parent 6 months after it had started. The parent confronted the abuser whom admitted guilt. As it turns out, I wasn't his first victim. There had been a couple of accusations before me. I received an apology from my abuser and continued to have contact with him. After several months had passed, the abuse started again. I told a parent. It was then decided that the abuser should not have contact with myself or with my siblings. A few months passed and the abuser was allowed to visit with me again. The abuse started again. It continued on and off for several years. I was abused by this man from the time I was 10 years old until I was 14 years old. It finally ended after I decided to tell another family member. Children's Services were contacted and the man was sentenced to probation and counseling. This was before sexual predators had to register, so he is out there somewhere, potentially abusing another child.

I was told to attend two counseling sessions as well.

WHY AREN'T PEOPLE CALLING THE AUTHORITIES ON THESE DOUCHE BAGS?

Why do people think that if they ignore something, that it isn't happening? People are so worried about shaming the family/school/church/team . . . why aren't people worrying more about the children?

I felt shame as a victim. I certainly didn't want my peers to know what had been happening to me. It was a family secret I was happy to keep even though it was killing me.

As an adult, I sought counseling. I knew I needed professional help. I have overcome the abuse, but it still has had an effect on me. I'm scarred. Certain things take me back to that horrible time, but I refuse to let it rule my life. I'm stronger than the abuse.

If you are were a victim, DO NOT BE ASHAMED. It's happened to more people than you think and you aren't alone. Talk to someone, get help. You don't have to suffer in silence.

After seeing all of this Jerry Sandusky bullshit, I've got something to say.

First, here are a few facts from the American Psychological Association that I think we should all be aware of.

• 90% of sexual perpetrators are known to the child, only 10% of the abusers are strangers.
• 23% of reported cases report the perpetrators as individuals who are under the age of 18.
• Approximately 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls are sexually abused by the the time they are 18.

What can we do to help ensure that our children stay safe? (And when I say our children, I mean ALL children!)

• Know who our children are spending time with. Get to know other parents, coaches, instructors,etc.
• Take cues from the child. Here are a few ways children react to sexual abuse.
• Increase in nightmares or sleeplessness
• Withdrawn behavior
• Refusal to undress for gym or participate in physical activities.
• Regressive behavior (thumb-sucking, bed wetting, etc.)
• Reluctance to be left alone with a particular person or people.
• Sexual knowledge that is inappropriate for their age.
• If you feel uneasy leaving your child with someone, don't do it.
• TEACH YOUR CHILDREN! Don't depend on teachers to do it for you. YOU need to discuss abuse with your child. If you take anything from this post, PLEASE talk to your child. It could save their life!
• What should you teach them about sexual abuse?
• The difference between 'good secrets' (those that are not kept secret for long) and 'bad secrets' (secrets that must be kept forever.)
• The difference between 'okay' and 'not okay' touches.
• They need to use accurate names for private parts and know how to take care of them themselves so they don't have to rely on adults or older children for help.
• That adults and older children never need help with their own private parts.
• That they can make decisions about their own bodies and say 'no' when they don't want to be touched or touch others. (even refusing to give hugs)

Here are a few children's books that may help to break the ice.

My Body Belongs to Me by Jill Starishevsky
I Said No! A kid-to-kid guide of keeping your private parts private. by Kimberly King
Some Parts Are Not For Sharing by Julie K. Frederico
Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Maude Spelman
Those Are MY Private Parts by Diane Hansen
Amazing You! Getting Smart About Your Private Parts by Gail Saltz

If you've made it to the end of this post, thank you. I know this isn't exactly what a person reads to brighten their day, but if we continue to ignore this topic, we are failing our children. We can't allow more children to fall victim to people like Jerry Sandusky. We need to be proactive. We need to protect our children. They are our future.

If you suspect a child is being abused, please speak out! We are the voices that will be heard.

You have the power to save the life of a child and it is our obligation to do just that.